Listeners, I NEED YOUR HELP! This podcast is growing rapidly, and I want to make sure we can all grow together, so take this survey and let me know what I'm doing right and where I should focus my attentions going forward to provide the best podcast for YOU possible! CLICK HERE!
Listeners, I NEED YOUR HELP! This podcast is growing rapidly, and I want to make sure we can all grow together, so take this survey and let me know what I'm doing right and where I should focus my attentions going forward to provide the best podcast for YOU possible! CLICK HERE!
Hi everyone, and welcome to Gay A, a podcast about sobriety for the queer community and our allies. I'm your host, Steve Bennett Martin, I'm an alcoholic and addict, and I'm grateful for my workshop, Homespace, at Cypress Pillar Healing Arts. As of this recording, I am 936 days sober, and today we're welcoming back a friend of the podcast, Dallas! Welcome back, Dallas!
Thank
Dallas:you. I'm so glad to be back. It's been, I guess, almost a year, right? It's
Steve:been almost a year or so. Why don't you reintroduce yourself to all of our listeners?
Dallas:Dr. Dallas Bragg, I a year ago I had just started sobriety coaching. And so that's been turned into a Akashic Record slash sobriety coaching business. And really my clients so far have all been gay men who are have a history with crystal meth. So let's, It's not who I limit myself to, but that's who I'm attracting right now because that's my experience, but I am sober from crystal meth and it's been 2000. So, August 4th, 2018 was my was my sober date for that for crystal meth. I'm a father of two adult two adult children. Also an adjunct instructor in business on the side too.
Steve:Very cool. And what would you say is your favorite part of being sober today?
Dallas:My favorite part of being sober right now is being able to help other gay men recover from crystal meth and see them become sober. That's my favorite part right now for sure.
Steve:Yeah, and especially, you've mentioned working with gay men a couple times now, mostly, what's your favorite part of being part of that community?
Dallas:Hmm, I think, My favorite part of being a part of that community is being able to relate in the way that I can, because unless you've been a gay man in the throes of crystal meth. You really can't know exactly what it's like, so being in that community and having that instant bond is, is nice. I like it. Yeah, I can
Steve:imagine, because I know that, I have that with other alcoholics, because I went through that experience, and,, we can identify with each other's experiences, like when we do shares and things like that, because there are feelings that are the same, but there are also certain, Specifics that, when I talk to one of my, friends in CMA, and, if he gets into it, though, it's like, okay, at the end of the day, we also speak different languages, or have had very different experiences, as you and I have messaged
Dallas:about. Yeah, yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah, it's a different beast, you know, even, even to the, even to the fact that with Crystal Meth, there are Zoom channels dedicated so that you can use with men. Around the world anytime you want anytime you can log in and you can all you have to be using to be on The zoom channel where you get thrown off So it's it's a
Steve:mess Wild wild world out there on the internet and out of all the different things we could talk about why choose sober magic
Dallas:hmm, well, I feel that I'm on to something here and if you look at What's happening in the spirituality community. There's an intersection that's happening between science and spirituality. Finally, and quantum physicists are coming over to our side and physics is proving what's always been known, like the chakras, you know, the basics teachings that have been passed down for thousands of years, right? That in the spiritual community, we've kind of accepted as truth, but now we have actual tangible scientific proof of it. And so I'm kind of taking that into sobriety coaching because it's the best of both worlds. You have the, you know, the tangible coaching and recovery plans and those kinds of things, but intertwining it with. The magic part, which is, you know, the Akashic Record reading and past life regressions and karmic assignments and soul contracts and all that stuff, all that stuff to inform the coaching process. So that's why I want to talk about that every chance I can get. Yeah,
Steve:I mean, it's certainly a unique approach that I've gotten to dip my toe in a little bit more and more through my husband and his. spiritual path, because while I've done 12 steps and gone on my journey with coaching, he's explored more of the metaphysical route, but we support each other. So I get to see a lot of it and I participate with a lot of it. But what's your relationship been like with magic growing up?
Dallas:Well, I grew up in the Pentecostal church and so it's, it's funny in retrospect. So I grew up and I was, I was speaking in tongues and I was doing, you know, I saw, I saw people healed. Immediately from things in the church, and I saw I was witness to like some exorcisms even and so growing up, that was that was a part of my life. And then, as I grew older I was told and and I, I believed and I had the gift, the spiritual gift of discernment. So I could kind of. See beyond what was in front of me to what was really happening. And so that was biblical at the time too. So, but then when I came out, I kind of, you know, rejected the church altogether. And but in retrospect, now I see now that I'm in the spiritual side, that everything we were doing in the Pentecostal church, they're doing everything that we are doing on this in the spiritual world, they're just assigning it to Jesus only, you know, because I speak. In tongues still, but it's called light language, you know, in light language comes through me in this almost the same way, but it's a, it's an, it's different now because it's not only Jesus speaking, you know, in, in, in the church, they think it's only Jesus speaking through you in light language. So they're onto something, they're just not, you know, they're, they're just kind of. Boxing it in. And so that was, so I've taken everything that I've learned and I've converted it over and I've also, you know, I rejected Jesus for a long time because there's a lot of trauma. There's, you know, so much religious trauma with, with gay men in. In how Jesus was presented to us and the fear and all that kind of all that shit that that we had to go through, but I've been able to recreate a relationship and actually meet the real Jesus on my own and create this whole new loving relationship and realize that that he's a risen. He, the spirit of Jesus as a risen master, just like. Anyone else just like Archangel Michael or, you know, all these anybody else that we talk about in the spiritual world. He is one of them. He's an entity. He's not the all. So my, so my relationship has changed. It's kind of the same, but it's, but it's evolved in in what I think it is involved in. So.
Steve:Yeah, I mean, I can certainly relate to that as well, because I know growing up, I grew up Roman Catholic, so I went to Catholic school, and once I, realized that I was gonna fail no matter how hard I studied, because at the end of the day, still a big homo, I had to kind of gave up and, shut my, mind on that, so, especially during my active addiction, I know that there was,, no room for God, because, I was God, I had all the power, and I knew better than everyone, and I was in control, and, How did your relationship or connection with magic change during that addiction?
Dallas:Well, during addiction, I So, there's a, there's a, even a YouTube channel on this, but when you get far enough into crystal meth you know, there's hallucinations, there's schizophrenic thoughts, and But there's also this element of spirituality in it where you begin to see connections, you know, and a lot of it's not real, you know, like I would think that I saw the same truck following me to the grocery store as I saw parked behind me, you know, those kind of things, but, but that was all kind of a paranoia element of it, but there was some type of connection in spirituality that I felt during the My meth use that was kind of hard to, it was, it's hard to explain. Like I, even in the smoke, I would see visions of my grandmother, you know? So I don't know, I didn't know what to trust if it was hallucinations from not sleeping for seven days, or if it was like something, somebody coming through but, but there, but I would say my connection was, you know, way off. During my active addiction.
Steve:Yeah, and when, when you entered recovery and got sober, when did you start reconnecting with it? And how has it changed?
Dallas:Yeah, so I think I told the story in the last Podcast of when I, you know, I had rebuilt my life. I had re established everything We, the kids and I were together and I was being an adult and suddenly I was bored Right, and I just wanted to relapse again Because I was kind of back to where I started when I first started using and that was just living this mundane wash, rinse, repeat life. And I was standing at the sink washing dishes and I'm like, this is not what I, this is not what I want. I want the excitement of making a drug deal at 4 a. m. and going to work at 8 and those kind of things. And so I ran outside and, you know, just kind of. Feeling like what hope is there for me? And I went into the woods and I picked up my phone. And so I picked my phone up and I was, my intention was to contact a dealer, but instead I blocked him. Right. And then I just started blocking everybody that I could think of. And then I just, I felt like this, you know, it sounds woo woo, but I just felt like this voice say, we've been waiting for you. We've been waiting for you. And I just kind of looked up and the sun was shining on my face. And, and I was like, but I don't know what to do. And the voice said, you know, be like this tree. And I looked over and this tree was decomposing on the ground. And I thought I have to die to everything that I am. And restart like I have to start dismantling every part of myself. And so that is when I started my spiritual journey. And I, you know, of course, I guess it started in the church when I was growing up, but that's when I really started digging in to understand what it meant. To be spiritual and understand that I'm connected to all things. And so that's when I started just learning everything. I dove into spirituality. What is a chakra, you know, what is this? What is that? And I, I just dove in. And so the first thing that I, one of the first things that I did was go to guided meditations on YouTube and I came to one with a drumbeat and it was a shamanic journey and I closed my eyes and I just immediately went into this altered state. And I was in this, I felt like a virtual reality session and I went through this journey and met my power animal and all this stuff happened. And after that, I started pursuing shamanism. And so from there, I kept doing journeys and everything, but from there I stumbled on to, in the journeys, I stumbled on to what was explained to me was Akashic Records, which shown to me as a river. Instead of like a library or anything. And so the river represented past, present, and future as it flowed. And so I would go there for certain things, but I kept feeling attracted to it. And so that's when I started pursuing more about that.
Steve:And what's been one of the most impactful things you've learned from pursuing that.
Dallas:So, the most impactful thing for me has been in my practice and for myself is understanding more of the context around the addiction. And sometimes what I'm finding is that the reasons for the addiction, the reasons for the path and why it's in your experience could start. In lives before this one it's there. So when we go in and we read with the Akashic records with the Akashic records are basically a record of every thought, every action, every word of your of your soul past, present and future all at once. And so when we look at that, we can tap into past lives, but we can also tap into what am I here to learn in this incarnation? What is my vibration? And what is my overall learning? And when you understand what your overall purpose is, what am I here to learn, then you start to constellate, Oh, that's why I attracted that mate. That's why I was born to these parents. That's why I had the childhood I had. Is that those things were there to help me learn blank. And then you can understand why addiction happened. And at that point, You're filling in heavy, heavy blanks in your life to be able to take control and change the direction because a lot of people that come to me, some of them have been sober for a while, but they're still not happy. They're still not fulfilled. They're still confused about questions about what is my purpose? What is next for me? And why am I like this? You know for an example might be I had a client who was very, had a very victim mentality, right? He just always thought that everyone's out to get him. So if you were having him describe all of his past relationships, they were all, they were out to get me, they, they falsely classified me as this and you know, that kind of thing. So when we went into his records, we saw in a past life that he had been wrongly imprisoned. And so he had been thrown in jail for doing something he didn't do, and that imprinted, and it was this, that vibration of that was what he brought into this life. And then if you, if you take that concept of, That was his belief. That was his vibration. You understand why he was born into the parents. He had you understand why he had this childhood he had and then it all makes sense. It all makes sense adding up now. So then when we take now, we see why the addiction happened and then we can start building on that and changing that belief, right? And changing that vibration and changing the way that he sees the world. And it all kind of, it kind of gives evidence. It And it makes it fills in a lot of blanks for him. So then now he can see exactly what to do. So, because a lot of people in recovery, they have trouble connecting to what's next, you know, what is what is life like for me without this, you know, without this addiction and what can it be like, and they, they kind of stay looped, but when you see what belief needs to be changed and what vibration can be changed so that you can create a new reality. Then you have something to really work with. Yeah. I
Steve:can certainly agree with that. And see how impactful doing something like the Akasha Greetings can be. I know friends who have done it before that speak very highly of it, so that's on my list of things to do eventually in the new year. What would you say, though, are a part of your daily magical practices?
Dallas:Well, I, so, when I first started When I first stumbled on this it was at the beach and I, well, I don't know how much you want me to go into it, but something opened and I was channeling for everybody on the beach. And it was crazy. I went, it was kind of like, it could have been seen as a psychotic break, I guess, but I was talking to my grandchildren and, you know, I was just everywhere telling people, you know, there was the people coming out of their There was a family coming out of their room and I looked at them and I was like, you forgot your load. You forgot your sunblock, you know, and they stopped and they were like, they did, you know, it was, I was just doing crazy stuff all day, but, but what was the question?
Steve:Your daily practices for
Dallas:daily practices. Yeah. So anyway, once I started doing all of this, it really cracked open my aura to the fact that I'm just really sticky with energies. So once I started doing these readings, I noticed I just became very moody and very down and just, I just, I didn't understand why my emotions were out of control when I was pretty much regulated for and I realized I'm taking on all of this energy, even when I do the readings through, you know, virtually, I still taking on this energy, feeling it, you know, there was one reading I did where she was, A little girl was murdered in her past life and the murder kept replaying over and over and I just, I had to go to bed after that. It was so draining for me. So anyway, I say all that to say that I now have, I took on a spiritual mentor that came into my life and he taught me how to protect and cleanse. So I protect and cleanse pretty much all day long. It's each segment. Go to the store, I protect before and I cleanse after. This conversation, I protected before and I cleanse after. So I do that all day long to, to try and keep myself protected from taking on a lot of the energies. And I think eventually I won't have to as much. But right now, that's what I do. So I do that every day. I do chanting in the morning some, some ancient Buddhas chanting. I'll do that for 30 minutes each morning to get me started. And that's pretty much it. I draw some Oracle cards here and there, but as far as practices, that's it.
Steve:Very cool. And what about on a weekly or a monthly
Dallas:basis? So I do, I do keep track of the moon cycles. Yeah, I do full moon, new moon and full moon rituals, not, I wouldn't say ceremonies, but they're, yes, yeah, rituals. So I'll do different things based on what I'm feeling with the moon. Tomorrow's the solstice winter solstice. So I actually did a, I had a download today that came through for people in sobriety. And how to what to do with the solstice energy. And it's all around being honest about your shadows. So in shadow work, for the most part, we're referring to aspects of ourselves that we're not aware of. Right. That are creating realities in our life. But this message was about people in recovery who have shadow aspects that they are aware of, but they're keeping secret. So being really honest about where you are in your sobriety being honest about how much you want to use, being honest about what you're doing behind closed doors, you know, those kinds of things that this is a time, this solstice tomorrow is a time to bring that up. Be honest about it, open the doors and illuminate those shadow parts. And so that's what I'll be doing too, because, you know, the, the messages that I download, they're for other people, but they're also for me. And so I, I know that there's parts of what I'm dealing with right now that I need to tell somebody about, I need to get out as well and shine light on that and that'll improve my own recovery journey. Very
Steve:cool. And if a listener is listening is still skeptical about incorporating magic into their recovery routine What would you tell them?
Dallas:Well, that's normal To be skeptical. There's a couple things. I would say one is, you know, don't knock it to a try it I'm happy to you know offer an Akashic record reading session to anybody, you know one off session in the coaching my coaching clients We do a session in the beginning, and then that helps us. We take their goals and what we learn from their guides and we make a plan for their coaching. And then we bring in the guides each session. But I also do one off things, but I would not knock it until you try it. But the other part is. Every time even I now will be sometimes I'll be like, am I making this shit up, you know, because it's like, for one thing, I don't think I could ever make it up. But then sometimes I do question myself. And then every time I do something happens like somebody's dog comes through or somebody's grandma comes through and I know her name and I know her personality, you know, all this. Uncanny stuff happens to kind of show me stop doubting, you know and then I mentioned my mentor. I asked my spiritual mentor recently, I was like, what if I'm making all this up? And he was like, are people better after they've been with you? And and I said, yes, and then that's all that really matters. Maybe it's real. Maybe it isn't real, but people's lives are changed. People, people are, are feeling better and they discover more about themselves after being in the session. So really that's all that matters to me.
Steve:Yeah, I say, I don't understand all the science behind my husband when he does Reiki on me, but I know I feel better afterwards. Yeah, so, one thing I've learned in recovery is like the amount of times when I was drinking and I would say never about things that I would never do this and never do that. I do like all of the nevers now in recovery. And even today, if I say like, I'll never do something, who knows, like six months from now, I might be doing it. So,
Dallas:yeah, yeah, yeah, that is true. That is true. Yeah, very true.
Steve:Excellent. And what is something that you're looking forward to in your personal life?
Dallas:Well, I'm looking forward, I'm looking forward to the business building. I'm looking forward to, I want to, I do want to start my own podcast. I applaud you for it because it is, it seems like a lot of work. But I do want to start a podcast that my concept is I want to highlight, and this is inspired by my mom, but I want to highlight the stories of the loved ones of those. Trapped in crystal meth. Those that, you know, go through the addiction process in crystal meth. And so it was inspired by my poor mom, my kids, you know, my, even my ex wife, my friends, all these people that didn't ask to be drug through what I drug them through. But I want to tell their stories so that other moms, you know, who suddenly find out my mom found out I was on. Crystal meth, but after I got arrested, she didn't know that I was even that I'd never did any drugs at all, you know, and she had no idea about crystal meth or what to expect or that I would be up for days and I would be doing all this stuff, you know, the stuff that comes along with crystal meth addiction that I know, you know, about so she had no idea how to handle it and she didn't handle it in a healthy way. She actually made it worse sometimes. And so I want to create a. A you know, a place for a resource for other moms so that they'll have something to someone to relate to some stories to go to so that they'll know better what to do when it happens to them. But in my personal life, that's that's pretty much my work life. My personal life are about the same.
Steve:Yeah, I understand that feeling. Yes, very much.
Dallas:You know, you know, with what you're doing. Yeah, it's it's all in 1 right now. But I don't the thing is, is that I love it. I love. What I'm doing, I love every second of it and I can't get enough of it. So that's fine with
Steve:me. Yeah, exactly. And I think that it would be great having a podcast like that out there because you know, so many of them focus, like even this one, like on the experiences of what we went through for other people who are going through going through it, but yeah, we impact so many other people in our journeys that having that resource would be very important. So I support you on that.
Dallas:Yeah. Yeah. And you know, there's a lot more than you think. Well, maybe there, maybe you wouldn't be surprised, but you know, there's a lot of gay men out there who have lost their partners. And I have a lot of clients who are relapsing every two or three months behind their partner's back. You know, so there's a problem. So gay men need to know what the signs are. You know, what to do, how to handle it, how to react to it. And to reduce the stigma a little bit as well.
Steve:Thanks for all the amazing work you're doing. If someone wanted to get in contact with you about that, how
Dallas:would they find you? I think the easiest way is Instagram which right now I'm, I guess I'm shadow banned for saying sex or meth or something on there. But it's at drdallasbrag, so drdallasbrag is my Instagram. That's the easiest thing. I'm on everything else, but that's the easiest way to, to reach me, I think. Excellent. Well, thanks
Steve:for coming back. It was a
Dallas:pleasure. Yes, very much. Thank you so much for having me. Yes,
Steve:and thank you listeners for tuning in to another episode of Gay A. Make sure you follow us wherever you're listening right now so you can get these new episodes when they come out every Thursday. And if you have a friend or a fellow who might enjoy listening, make sure you tell them about it. And until, oh, and also make sure you check out our post show on our Patreon page, where Dallas and I are going to discuss his experience with sexual transmutation challenges. Oh, yay. Yay! So, head on over there, and until next time, stay sober, friends.