Discover the unexpected journey of a queer podcaster's transformative experiences in sobriety, leading to the launch of a groundbreaking 2.0 version of their podcast. This emotional narrative takes you through the highs and lows of Steve's personal growth, as he unveils the concept of "sober superheroes." Stay tuned for the open loop of how this journey will empower and inspire the LGBTQ+ community.
In this episode, you will be able to:
Reach out today however you'd like https://linktr.ee/gayapodcast
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
Discover the unexpected journey of a queer podcaster's transformative experiences in sobriety, leading to the launch of a groundbreaking 2.0 version of their podcast. This emotional narrative takes you through the highs and lows of Steve's personal growth, as he unveils the concept of "sober superheroes." Stay tuned for the open loop of how this journey will empower and inspire the LGBTQ+ community.
In this episode, you will be able to:
Reach out today however you'd like https://linktr.ee/gayapodcast
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
Hey everyone. It's Steve, host of GA podcast, and I am 978 days sober today, and I am so grateful for my sober community and I am so excited to be bringing you this week's episode not only on your normal podcasting platforms, where I have been living for the past 175 episodes, but I was also inspired this weekend at podcast 2024 to also go live and see what happens and put my face out there as well as my voice. And so here I am, not just in your podcasting platforms, but also wherever you can watch things as well. So, hi, nice to meet you, and podcast was an amazing experience and more than just the takeaways that I got from the technical side that have taught me how I can really take this podcast to the next level in a way that you can all see it and access it, but it's also helped build up my confidence and my belief in this podcast and the power behind it at a time where I really needed it.
Speaker 1:I know that podcasting has been something that was a part of me before I even got sober. I discovered it about a year or so before I got sober, in 2020, I went to pod fest and I was launching a podcast that I had that at the time was about senior living, because that was the industry that I was in, and it was well that. An industry that I was in that didn't make my heart happy having a podcast about it didn't make my heart happy as much as it could have, but I also knew that I love the art of podcasting and I loved the medium of podcasting. I had been a podcast listener long before I was a podcast creator and I became a podcast creator because I was inspired to share my voice. But at that time I didn't really know what my voice wanted to say or what my voice like, what my brand was, what my image, what my message was, that I have for the world, and I found, like a podcast, so many important things that I'm going to take away from it, but it was mostly just that my voice needs to be heard as well as everyone's voice needs to be heard. This is my third year at a podcasting convention, not in a row. I went in 2020, 2021, and then COVID made things wacky for a little bit and this is my first year back in a while and it's amazing how much has changed. But I really resonated with the sentiment that a lot of other podcasters have, and I'm sure other people are, can relate to it as well.
Speaker 1:But I was always the type of kid who was told to stop talking or to quiet it down. And as an adult I can look back and notice all the times that little Steve was being a brat who was screaming in the grocery store or talking in class or talking in church way later than you'd like the little whispers that kids can get away with Like. I know that I was told to quiet down because in that time and place what I was doing was not appropriate. But what I heard and what I felt as a child especially as a young queer child who innately felt like there was something different about me and that I didn't know what I was doing wrong, while I was different than everyone around me. And then you're being told to stop and be quiet. I heard that my voice doesn't matter, or at least it doesn't matter as much as a lot of other peoples, and it's something that I've been insecure of for a long time in this podcast has been very therapeutic and healing that piece of me, but also, as many of us alcoholics and addicts can know, a lot of times you have to relearn that lesson more than once.
Speaker 1:And so, after going to these amazing podcasting conventions over 2020 and 2021, at that point, when I had launched gay a, I had gotten sober and, of course, I made this podcast. There was a no brainer it was. I already knew the tools and when I got sober, as a podcast consumer and creator, I looked at all the podcasts out there and was looking for gay or queer ones, and there was one or two and they were great and they were helpful, but I'm an addict. So I finished them within a day and I was like, okay, what's next? And there were other sober messages out there, but none that sounded like me, and so I decided to make a podcast, and throughout the podcast, I've been interviewing other people, and I'm so thankful that I did, because it's opened my perspective up about what sobriety means to to not only me but the guests that I've had and the world as a whole, more than I'd ever wanted if I was staying in my own little bubble or my own little circle. And so this podcast has kept me sober more often than not, just as much as any other program or conference or group.
Speaker 1:I know that it feels very different having to like announce it to myself, but like it takes a village. I'm a very complicated person. We're all complicated, but we're also all the same, and one way that we can all relate is by sharing our experiences and identifying to the similarities. And I don't have all the answers, and my guests won't have all the answers, but what I'm hoping for is that, by being one or two steps ahead of someone else, that they can take something that I say during this episode or any of my episodes, or something that any of my guests can say and that that can help them lead a better, fuller, sober life. And so that doesn't mean that After 175 episodes, I'm saying I am like the expert on sobriety, but I have some answers available to me that have been provided from all of you that I'm very excited to share, and that's why I'm finding that it was.
Speaker 1:You know, someone said at podcast that if you have a voice or a story or a message to say, not sharing it is selfish. And so the idea that I have this Concept, an idea behind the importance of spreading that you can be queer and sober and live awesome, full, amazing, happy lives, that needs to be heard everywhere, because it's a message that our community needs to hear and I believe in it and that is my voice and that is what I am dedicating my time to spreading. Now I know that, as you've been listening to the podcast, podcast listeners have seen it get a little Wild over the past couple months with pre-rolls and post-rolls and inserts and redirects and things as I was figuring out how to make this all work. Because I part of the reason why I might be 175 episodes in and only just really starting to dive into this podcast and what it can become is because before it was very much a hobby, as I was working in the senior, living in an industry that wasn't making me happy, because I felt like that was the industry I had to be in, even though it was barely paying my bills and making me miserable. And I took the leap of faith in November to pursue Chasing the stream of helping spread this message full-time and I've been trying to find the right angles that work.
Speaker 1:But at the end of the day, podcast help me remember that it all comes back to this podcast. This is where I have my community, this is where I have my people and this is where it all begins is just with this message about queer sobriety being awesome and something that needs to be celebrated, and so with that, I know the greater the risk, the better the reward, and I am putting all my chips in. So you all have kept me sober just as much as any program or any conference. I know one lesson you've taught me all is that there's more than one way to get sober, and also there's more than one way to live sober. No one place has all the answers, and I've talked to a couple people recently especially, that were like, well, no, they're the, and it's been different places, but they were like, oh, that one person has all the answers, or that one program has all the answers, or that one place has all the answers for every single person.
Speaker 1:And One thing that I learned in the program that I work is the only person that has all the answers for me is my higher power, and I just have to be open to understanding what direction they're sending me in. And for me, it sends me everywhere, because maybe it's my ADHD, but maybe it's because I need to be able to Take this grocery store of life and go from aisle to aisle and pick up what I need when I need it. I'm still looking at all the other items and checking them out and I might go back to them later, but I know that I need a lot of different things. Like I mentioned, I am part of a 12-step program and I believe in that wholeheartedly. But I also believe that if someone's crying out in pain and hurting and saying I'm sober, I need help, that there's more than one answer of go to an AA meeting or go to a meeting or go to whatever you need to go to To get that one answer that you know, between my meetings and everything else, I've learned that that might not be the very first thing that you want to lead with. It's almost like saying you know, for a lot of people with a lot of different trauma, it might have misconceptions and might have misunderstandings. If you're not going to take the time to tell them why they need to go to a meeting and you're just saying, try a meeting, try a meeting, you're not helping them because you're just not directing them as to why they would need a meeting or why that matters to you or what that means. And Again, that could be something where you need to hear and listen to what that person needs and it might be starting off somewhere else, like checking out a website or checking out a podcast or checking out an Instagram account or checking out a social media group and when they're there and they find that their people and they're ready to listen, then they can find other ways that also work.
Speaker 1:I know that when I first started off, my meeting experience from which you know was that I very much when I first started, I couldn't go to a meeting if it wasn't like young and queer and beginners and rainbow. I knew that at first I love the idea of going to a gay meeting, but then all of a sudden, everyone was nice and friendly and wanted to give me their number, so obviously that meant that they all wanted to have sex with me, and I know now that that's not how it works. It's just because I was so used to receiving unconditional love and attention, infection, from these people who probably saw just a very scared young Person who, like needed help, and they were trying to help me. But I wasn't used to that and so I wasn't able to hear the message there the same way that I could when it was just everyone from every walk of life and Everyone was so wildly different but we were all still the same and in hearing that message, I was able to, over time, expand where I can hear the message and to learn that there are different versions of the message and it's not about hearing exactly what you want, but it's about hearing what you need to hear. And that can happen, and happens a lot for most people in meetings, but it can also happen in other places.
Speaker 1:I know, like I've mentioned, this podcast as well as others were huge. The sober gay podcast with Dylan Gay. I remember when I first started you know that was huge. I listened to that day in and day out and since, even as I started my podcast and was finding other podcasts, I've listened to other podcasts, even though I do a sober podcast because I want to get other people's perspectives on sobriety and it's just another fun, handy way where you can get a different message. And I've gotten to meet through this podcast people with different methods of recovery and all of them are still leading awesome, sober lives, whether it's smart recovery or I've interviewed some people that just wake up one day and say no, thank you, which blows my mind because I needed a program that was very detailed and structured, like to get me through those early days especially, but that doesn't mean that that person has their sobriety is any better or worse than my sobriety. The same way that if someone had got so medically, they had, that they were in a hospital and then when, by the time that they were done with the medical assistance, they were able to do it and they're living their life on their own without anything else. Again, I don't know how they could do that just their own. I need a continuous community supporting me to keep me sober, but these people are no less sober than anyone else and it's been exciting to learn just how much sobriety is about, like what you're working on yourself and the program that you're working and how that program can work.
Speaker 1:Different it can be going to conferences. I know gay and sober was a huge thing and is a huge thing for me each year, but it's not the only conference where you can go and get a message that you need to hear. You need to find where your people are. You need to find where it's warm, podcasting conventions podcast has also been huge for me and again, it's not a sober convention but it helps my sobriety because it's a healthy thing. For me, just being around people that build you up and make you feel warm and amplify your voice is just so important, as well as listening to your voice, and I've always struggled with meditation. For years I've been trying to learn how to meditate and I found that there's a certain level of like meditation that I get into with exercise, and so exercise and like the reflection afterwards has been really important for me recently in keeping me sober.
Speaker 1:And then my social network. It's so funny because I hear so many friends in like other industries who dread going on to Facebook or Instagram or YouTube or TikTok and like wherever they go, their attitude of the world this is that the world is on fire and I don't know what they're following. I know that when I go on social media, I'm following sober people that are creating awesome, inspiring content and motivation and we're all cheering each other on Social media. When you make it a beautiful place is a beautiful place and so, as much as, like I said, you have to use a little bit of everything, but I know that when I can't get to a meeting and when I might not be able to listen to a podcast, just growing through some inspiration on Instagram or through Facebook and sober communities and sober networks has been also just very healing and helpful and propels me further in my sorority.
Speaker 1:And again, these are all just different ways that you can hear a message and you never wanna say never always about what you are open to, because you will never know. I remember, if I mean first of all, if you asked pre sober Steve if I would be doing any of these things, he'd say if he was, I would kick him between the legs because what a little bitch. Because sober, not sober, steve was an asshole who would say things like call me a bitch. And with that, though, I've turned into this person who does these things that I never would have thought of. But even doing that I then, a couple of years into my sobriety, about six to eight months ago, I got to a point where I was back to to making all these rules of saying always and saying never, and one of those things that was that I would never exercise. I remember telling a nurse like at work I was like the only way he'd see me running is if I was being chased by a bear and not the good kind. You know what I mean. And Now I run and I exercise because it helps me feel connected to my body, and Feeling connected to my body, after feeling disconnected for so long, helps me feel connected to like myself. And then, as I'm meditating, I'm able to connect with my higher power. But again, like I never would. I was saying I would never Exercise, knowing that it's possible that I would. And it's easy to say that you'll never do this, or you won't ask someone for this because they would never say yes, or I can never do that because this would happen that my life was full of. While I always don't do this, it always works out this way. This is how it's always been done.
Speaker 1:You know, months ago, why would I make this a YouTube channel? It's always been a podcast. It was all about the always, it was all about the never's, and one of those things recently, like recently, I've learned, as I'm trying to not use those words anymore and be open to whatever comes my way that helps Improve my quality of life. Most recently it's been finding church, which again blows my mind, because years of religious trauma and even starting sobriety and having to separate the concept of my higher power from capital G god, to find now after saying like, well, I can get behind a higher power, but never capital G God, to now like praying in church and singing on Sundays. It's wild, but it's because I found the right community.
Speaker 1:That was for me and I was open to it, because I stopped saying never and I stopped saying always that churches are always like this and I would never do that. I found locally a church that puts like the progress pride flag on their front yard. Of course I'm gonna find a home there. Why would I be telling myself that I couldn't find a home there? It's because I was making rules about myself that were limiting what I couldn't, shouldn't do. And Finding that community has been awesome, not just for me, but for my husband, who doesn't work a Recovery program because somehow he can drink like a normal person whatever you call a normal person. But even this church now is healing, like a part of him that we didn't know needed healing, as well as finding a community for me and us. And it's been this beautiful experience that I now consider a part of my sobriety, because it's another way that I can connect to my higher power in a way that was Unfathomable to me, not only when I got sober.
Speaker 1:If someone, when I said I got sober, said, go to church like it wouldn't have ended well for me. But I had to wait until I heard. Like her, it was ready to hear the message and I tried it and I'm glad that I was able to listen to it and be open to it. But it's because, in addition to you know the one thing I will say, you know it's like no to a drink, but also even some of the most successful sober people, you know we all still take it one day at a time. I'm not gonna say that I'm never gonna do this. All I do is hope is that if the day comes where I do drink that I notice stop again, because I don't know how many Recovers I have in me.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm trying to make the most of this. First go around and not pick up and keep Staying sober every single day, and not just staying sober and living my life that I was living previously, because the life that I was living previously wasn't feeding my soul and making me happy. Being sober is about knowing that it's just the beginning. It is just the start for you, and so now I get to do this full time with the podcast and I'm so excited to see where that leads. And, of course, I can help coach along the way, but I'm learning how to do that. I'm very much learning.
Speaker 1:I can give you expert advice on if you want to start a podcast or you're looking for help, you know, with early sobriety, but at the same time, I also want to make sure that I'm putting my message out there where it's free for everyone who needs to hear it, through the podcast, through the YouTube channel, wherever you need to hear my message, because my message is not just mine, it's going to be everyone else's that I share as well. Like I said, if you're just finding us on YouTube today or Twitter or Instagram live today or wherever I'm live or finding us, go back to the pocket. If you know what a podcast is, find us on the podcast apps, because there's 175 Episodes of content from amazing queer and sober people who have shared their story, and that's just the beginning. I can't wait to have these people back on the ones that are willing and able to be on a live show, or maybe we'll find a way where, if they don't want to be alive, we can still work them in, or even if they don't want to be on camera, we'll find a way to work them in. But I am just one person and at this point I built this beautiful Community around me of people that I can also bring in on to talk about different topics related to queer sobriety as we go through and move forward into the future, and so for that, I did want to introduce you to a new concept, and that is Gay 8 2.0. It is kind of starting today as a pilot or a test preview of sorts, with the YouTube channel and everything like that, but while I was planning things out at the conference of where I can go and where I can take this Podcast, as well as combine it with everything that I'm learning in my coaching Because one of the beautiful things I've learned from coaching is the concept of the, the hero's journey, and the heroic lens and the unmasking, and all of that has led to Me really embracing an idea that I already love the concept of, because it's just cute and adorable, but of the sober superhero.
Speaker 1:It's something that's coming to me so much more to me as I've been working with my coach About what that means, about the concept that you can be a sober superhero if you, you're sober and you're not gonna drink today and anything else that you do is awesome and amazing. But I believe that every sober person is a superhero. But before we get into the sober superhero concept, I will just also want to reiterate that GA is still going to be the same podcast. It's always been, it's still going to be me plus a whole lot of other queer sober voices giving you the message that life can be awesome sober. It doesn't end when you get sober, it just starts in so many ways when you get sober. And I will be using in the logos, in the imagery, 2.0.
Speaker 1:I know with podcast lingo it'll probably be labeled as the second season. You can call it a sequel or a reboot if you want to get really fancy and everything like that, but I chose the concept of 2.0 because my first 175 episodes was very much 1.0, of asking, as I got sober, what is sobriety? We've been spending the past 175 episodes figuring out like what exactly is sobriety? What can it mean to different people? You've heard tons of different perspectives, as well as mine, as it's grown and evolved and changed in ways that I never would have believed it would, and short spurts in as well as over long periods of time. But that's the question that I've been asking and in the past month or two, as I've been workshopping it and using things like positive psychology approaches, I've realized that the answer, at least for me for now, is that it's the opportunity to be a sober superhero. And also the 2.0 is that it's not just a podcast anymore, it's a YouTube channel and I'll go live weekly and be on multiple platforms, because this is a message I believe needs to be heard everywhere.
Speaker 1:But with the sober superhero, I remember growing up a child of the 90s. Of course there was the X-Men cartoon and especially being queer the allegory of being hated and feared and different was something that then, all of a sudden, it's turned into this cool concept of like that, but you're also a mutant and you have these superpowers. And how cool is it to have superpowers? And as kids, when we look up to our superheroes, we see that they're perfect, we see that they're infallible. And as we get older and as we watch more MCU movies or read actual comics, we learn that these superheroes that people see as heroic and capable of anything, that we trust that in the end it's all gonna be okay because they're a superhero. They all have really messed up origin stories. Y'all I mean Batman, superman, like none of these people were like, raised with two parents and a happy, healthy household where nothing ever went wrong.
Speaker 1:That's not how superheroes are born. We're born superheroes through the things that we've done in the past the things, whether it be that, things that happen to us or the things that we've done. If you can think of a couple of movies, you're gonna find eventually, a super villain that turned into a superhero, because that is also possible. We can be doing flat out villainous things in our addictions. We can do horrible things that are not who we want to be and we've played out villainous. But there's that chance that when we hear the message in the right light that all of a sudden we can stay sober or get sober and then stay sober and become a superhero, it's been very fun to play with and very empowering for the people that I've been working with, because it's easy for us to look at other people and see the best in them.
Speaker 1:I know that as I was developing and planning out and playing out and fighting against the idea of like, well, I can't do this because this other thing or that other thing. But the sober superhero concept means so much to me because I can look at every single one of my past guests and tell you exactly why they're a sober superhero. And I can look at everyone who's ever sent me a DM or like an email or a message or reached out and thanked me for the content that I'm creating, and look at their life and ask them questions and spit back out that my, there is sober superhero. But it's very hard for me in the mornings when I look at the mirror myself, for me to see a sober superhero. Why can I see it in everyone around me and I can't see it in myself? And it's because, like a lot of us, we suffer from that lack of self-confidence and we want to second-guess ourselves where we have been told to be quiet or not live as loud or not be our authentic self, because it won't be accepted. And we drank over it and we smoked over it and we used over it and we did everything we can to Quiet down this piece of us that just we felt was being told that it's not right or it's not enough for it's not okay. And I'm here to tell you that you can. It is okay.
Speaker 1:If you're sober today, it doesn't mean that you had a perfect origin story. Chances are your origin story was as fucked up as most of ours. It doesn't mean you're not a superhero, and just because you're the superhero today doesn't mean you're not gonna fall down down the road. Superheroes fall down all the time. What's important to note is that superheroes, as long as they get back up, are superheroes, and that's something that you have to remember as well is that you might fall, you might Relapse, even potentially, but as long as you get back up and you get back on board and you get back and connected to your sobriety, that it doesn't mean the game is over and that this game is just beginning because we are all sober superheroes, so it's fun.
Speaker 1:It's a fun thing to talk about, it's gonna be empowering and I believe that it's a message that needs to be heard and it can. We can take it from there in so many different ways and talk about so many different topics Using that superhero lens. I can't wait to get in a couple like a month or two for now when we talk about the mask that we wear in public, because I Know superheroes and the way that they wear their masks, but then eventually, you get to that point where, like, they don't have to wear the mask anymore, and so there's just so many crunchy things for us to talk about as we go through and continue to also hear other people's voices and stories about what their sober superhero journeys have been like, what their origin story was like, as well as the super amazing Things that they're doing right now for the sober community. I am so excited to welcome back people and get to introduce them to this new audience in a new light, and so make sure you are following or subscribing, wherever you are listening right now or watching right now, because I Officially will be launching gay a 2.0, the sober superhero show, on February 22nd. Not only is it to 22 a great chance to launch 2.0, but it also is Thursdays when my episodes normally come out, as well as my 1000s my 1000s day sober Wow, I Will have been one sober for 1000 days, which is a lot easier to say than trying to add the th at the end of that word whoof. So, yes, that will be a big day. That also means that there are gonna be two more episodes after this where we are kind of in a limbo, but I have ideas for those. So hang in there because it's going to be fun.
Speaker 1:But also, I want to encourage all of you that are listening, especially in your podcasting app, but even if you're just discovering me on these other platforms and would like more content, to join our patreon community. It is like this is my full-time job right now creating this content. So I've been downplaying, really asking for patreon support for so long because it would have. You know, I was having a very complicated relationship with money, but at this point, I started the patreon in June of 2022, so I have almost one and a half years, or over one and a half years, of post-show episodes there, where you get to hear what happens when these guests that I've interviewed, when we stop recording on a public podcast feed and I say, alright, now, anything you wanted to say that you couldn't say because you were afraid of that one person who might hear it and hearing what their answers were. You can find that by joining the patreon community and by doing it, you're also supporting me with a small donation to help keep this podcast going each month so you get more content. That is amazing content that I'm very proud of. You're also going to continue to get more behind the scenes concepts, as I'm not going to be Shouting out everything out loud on Instagram the moment the idea comes into my mind, like I've been doing, but instead I'll get to experiment and have fun in the patreon community. It's also where you can help me pick future topics and vote for future topics and get special shout-outs and things like that. So the patreon community is where it's at and you can access that at wwwpatreoncom backslashgay, a podcast, and it is, like I said, the place to be right now to get those bonus episodes, as well as all the amazing things to come.
Speaker 1:And and next week is going to be about sober technology, specifically, I have a feeling, sober apps. I have been Interested in this idea recently, especially after learning about all this new technology Related to helping podcasters, that I'm kind of interested to see how technology is helping sober people right now. So I would love to hear from you about what sober technology you use, especially if you have favorite apps. Everyone is already saying I am sober, so we will definitely talk about I am sober the app next week in the episode, but also let me know what apps you go to when you need sober support. I know that we can go to meetings and we can call our fellowship and we can text our friends, but there are also going to be places that we go that are app based or technology based, that weren't or didn't exist Decades ago, and I would love to spend an episode talking about all these new ways to help our sober community. So let me know about that and also, as you're going through this week, if you happen to, on Friday on Instagram, which Danielle a happy four years, as she has been a Returning guest a few times and it's always a joy and always a pleasure.
Speaker 1:So, danielle, if you are listening, happy four years. You are an inspiration to us all and the true definition of a sober superhero. I Thought of you right away the moment that I started getting back into shape and exercising again, because I heard about your marathons and at the time, that sounded horrible and now it sounds exciting. So, happy four years and you are so inspiring. Thank you so much and Thank you everyone for listening and watching. Wherever you're listening or watching, this has been a very it's been an experience that I'm very glad that I did, and I know that it's going to get better each time my best episode is. My next episode was another thing that I learned at podcast. I'm really excited to embrace and lean into, as I get used to doing these live shows. So stay tuned. The next two weeks will be getting experimental as we talk about sober technology, and then the sober superhero show will officially be relaunching on Thursday, february 22nd. And until next time, everyone, stay sober friends.