Unraveling Recovery ft. Christina Hayes Scott (#194)

Sober Steve welcomes Christina Hayes Scott to discuss the significance of sobriety and holistic recovery. 

Topics include 

• Recognizing burnout
• Emotional regulation
• Facing challenges like breakups and health scares, 
• Exploring the 12-step program and cross addictions like overeating. 

Christina shares her personal journey to sobriety, emphasizing the transformative power it holds in dealing with emotions and progressing in life. Both Sober Steve and Christina stress the importance of holistic recovery by addressing underlying issues for a successful sobriety path, alongside promoting nature connection and positive social media presence for support and inspiration.

**Where to Find Us:**
- Christina on Facebook!
- Christina on Instagram 🟢
- Christina's Site
- gAy A on IG 🟢
- gAy A everywhere else 🖇️

Tell a friend to listen today!! Until next time, stay sober!

Transcript

Christina: 0:00

It is very easy to get lost in that. Very easy to go right back to busy, busy, don't feel, don't think, just do and staying distracted. But now I'm able to recognize when that starts happening. And I actually feel burnout and I actually feel tiredness and feel my brain needs a break. And I'll take mental breaks, I'll regulate my emotions by just sitting down and cross stitching for a couple hours or something that kind of brings me back to my center and then ask myself Is there something going on that I'm staying busy to avoid or am I really busy because I need to be right now?

Steve: 0:41

Hey, there are super sober heroes. It's your host sober Steve, the podcast guy here with 1089 days sober and I am so grateful for the experience that I had at Florida Roundup. But also grateful that slowly but surely I'm getting back into my routine. Speaking of my routine. I'm excited for another new episode to share with you all today. It's going to be my interview. I did last month with Christina Scott, who is just a joyous ball of sunshine. And I can't wait to share it with you. But first I wanted to give a quick update because at Florida Roundup, there were a lot of different workshops and topics and panels and things going on. And as I'm talking to more fellows and trying to help them through things, a lot of times they'll be like, oh, that reminds me of this episode that I did. Or that episode that I did. And in talking through some problems with people, there are a couple of gaps that I would love to address in topic episodes going forward. The first of which is while. I do make sure that this podcast is open and accessible to everyone. And anyone, I would love to talk with some people that work 12 step programs about the steps specifically, especially in a friendly, open way where we could talk about things like step one, two, and three, to people who might not already be in programs and working them in a way that won't necessarily scare them away because it saved my life. And I know that it can help a lot of people. So I feel like taking some time to while respecting traditions and anonymity. Of course still, we, you know, you. You can Google what our steps are. So being able to talk about what a step is and what it means to us and our experiences with it. I'd love to hear. People talking about that. As well as not just navigating stable relationships and looking back on the ups and downs and saying, but things are great now. But talking with people who are actively struggling in their current relationships openly about it, or people who have stayed sober through breakups, I would love to do an episode or two on staying sober through the ending of breakups or marriages or divorces in the same way that I'd love to do episodes about surviving and overcoming challenges with health scares. Those are things that oftentime. Oftentimes I've avoided in the past because they are very heavy. But I realized this week at the conference, that life is going to happen to us one way or another, and as fun as it is to talk about sex and happiness and love and gratitude and all the positives that we have in our sobriety, because it is super awesome that we get this other chance to have this new. Joyous happy freedom that we got to have every day. But life is still going to happen around us. And I'd love to start talking and diving deeper into conversations that can help people get through those tough moments, just as much as they can help them get through those good moments. So if any of that sounds like something that you'd like to come on the show to talk about@sobersteve.com, there is a pre-interview application forum. So if you're interested in coming on the podcast, I will talk to anyone and everyone about the possibility of being on the podcast and whether it's right for you or not. During a 15 minute zoom call. So you can schedule those anytime on my website@sobersteve.com by clicking over to the podcast gate a that's this. So of course, it's very easy to find on the website. But head on over there. If you're interested in applying to be a guest to speak on a specific topic, I'm always open to any new ideas. I am very excited for one in particular that I never even knew that there was a whole 12 step non-profit associated with Taylor swift called swift recovery. And they reached out and they'll be coming on upcoming. So you'd never know what exists out there. And some of it's wild and amazing. So if you are offering something wild and amazing out there, or you have a unique take or have been through some really serious. Serious shit that you're willing to talk about openly, like breakups and health scares. Come on the show and talk about it. My listeners love hearing authentic shares, do that at service, steve.com and speaking of authentic shares, Christina was very vulnerable and had a great interview. So I will let you head on over there and listen to that. Enjoy. Hello there, Super Sober Heroes. It's Sober Steve here with Christina. Hello, Christina.

Christina: 4:48

Hi, I'm so happy to be here.

Steve: 4:50

I am so happy to have you on. It is a joy following you on social media. You're just such a ball of sunshine and positive energy. So I'm very excited to have you on the show.

Christina: 5:02

Thank you so much. Likewise.

Steve: 5:04

Yeah. And for those who haven't had the joy of seeing your magical sunshine sparkles all over the internet, why don't you introduce yourself to the listeners?

Christina: 5:13

Hi. So I'm Christina Hayes Scott, and I am a certified professional recovery coach. I'm getting close to five years in my own recovery journey. And it, it's just been so incredibly life changing for me that I have this extreme gratitude over the fact I was ever an alcoholic in the first place. Like I would not trade it for the world. I know a lot of people are just so happy to get sober. I am so happy I became an alcoholic. I cannot even tell you because it's the only way I was able to really move forward in my life. And now I am spreading those sparkles, as you say, because I really believe that. When we go through a lot of things, one of the best things we can do is channel it to help other people. It just, for me, anyway, it's, it's something that makes it feel so worth having gone through it. And now I can turn around and use what I know and how I've healed to help others do the same. Yeah.

Steve: 6:10

And with all that positivity and gratitude, what would you say are you most grateful for being sober today?

Christina: 6:18

Honestly, the ability to feel the full range of my feelings without it being scary. In fact, I was just telling a new sober connection right on my Instagram that I actually kind of find it fun. When I get sad, it's so weird, but it's, it's something I avoided for so long. And I would watch other people kind of be able to wallow after they had like a breakup or, you know, lost a job or whatever. I was too scared to wallow. I didn't know where wallowing could take me with all the things in my past that meant opening the door to feeling all kinds of things I didn't want to feel. And now that I've worked through so many of those feelings. It's kind of fun, like, like a day off, like, okay, I'm upset today. I have a lot of anxiety or I'm really sad about something and I need to grieve. And I know that you can't go around it. You have to go through it. So I kind of embraced the process, you know, it's like, all right, I'm staying in my PJs. I'm curling up in a blanket on the couch. I'm eating some dairy free ice cream and we're going to make this an awesome day. You know? So it's like, it's really changed that experience for me. And when. When the big scary feelings are no longer so scary, you can really embrace them. You can just get through them, identify them, feel your way through them. It really kind of takes away their power and it kind of feels like it makes me bulletproof, you know, like, Hey, whatever you can throw at me. I may feel bad for a minute. It may be hard for a minute, but I know I'm going to come out the other side.

Steve: 7:54

Yeah, that was so game changing for me because I used to, if I had, like, if I stubbed my toe at nine o'clock in the morning, I'm like, well, fuck it, this day is ruined, nothing good will come of the next 24 hours, I might as well get drunk and blackout and wake up tomorrow morning and try my day again. And like, now I can have bad things happen during the day and realize, like, I can feel them. and move past them and move beyond them, not just with small things like that, but also the bigger things were the things that I would drink even more over. And the fact that I can get through hard times now and difficult things sober, and be able to get through them and like be there for other people as well. It's been very, very rewarding. rewarding in my sobriety. So I can certainly relate to you there. And you also, we met through the Hear Queer Sober Facebook group, and we're both going to be doing service with them in the next year. So why don't you share what your favorite part of being a member of the queer community is today?

Christina: 8:48

Oh, the entire queer community as a whole. Well My favorite part, I don't know, it's kind of funny actually that you bring it up that way. When I started out, when I came out, which was not, I was a late bloomer, so we're talking, it's been maybe six, seven years. ago that I came out and I had that stigma still, you know, I was still afraid. I didn't know how it was going to be received. And because of that, I kind of broke away from everyone in my life at the time because I didn't want to be held back. I didn't want anyone's opinion to stop me. If maybe that wasn't the best way to handle it, but when I started off. I saw the LGBTQ community as something I was still kind of afraid to be a part of because of the stigma, because of the hate that's out there, especially these last several years. And now it's so far the opposite. So I have, I've kind of transitioned when I first came out, I identified as gay and I only dated women. And then I've kind of transitioned to where I've dated quite a few transgender men and my current partner is transgender man. I kind of went through feeling like I went back in the closet because we look like a straight couple, right? So now I almost like, I'm like, look, I got my, my rainbows. Okay. I'm, I'm not straight. You can see that right now. I'm like desperate for people to know I'm in the community because as I've grown in myself. Especially in sobriety, I've found so much confidence and comfort in being who I am. And now it's like, no, no, no, you have to know this is who I am. So I, I guess, honestly, that's my favorite part is what it makes me feel about myself. I feel incredibly proud to be a part of the LGBTQ community. And I just, I, I've kind of become an activist a little bit. I mean, I'm not a protester, things like that, but I, I am certainly one to speak out, especially in terms of transgender rights. And I honestly just feel like I'm a part of something. important at an important time. And it means a lot to me. And I, there's definitely something to be said for connecting with other queer people, especially in recovery. It's like, if you have those two things in common, you probably have a lot in common.

Steve: 10:56

Yeah, I definitely love my, my queer and sober people. That's definitely my safe space in this wild and crazy world. But even as I go out into the world, I, Like similarly, I'm very proud of my sobriety and very proud of my, my queerness and the way that those were the two things that I used to be so ashamed over and so insecure over. And now I was called out. Yes. Like now I've been going to the gym every morning for about six months now. And now I'm getting to the point where I'm actually talking to like the people that I pass. And two women like called me out yesterday because I came to the gym wearing like a black t shirt and the black shorts. And they were like, what are you doing? You're always wearing like bright neon colors or rainbows or. Glitter and like, and people like see that, but they see it as like a positive thing. They're like, Oh, it's like this bright person who's like, it's almost like if they're queer, and even if they might not be comfortable being as loud about it, if they see me being loud and queer with my, my neon colors or my rainbows, or when I would color my hair, do my nails, they're like, Oh, okay, there's someone else here. Like, so it's a little bit safer because I'm not alone. And so I really enjoyed being like, very loud about it. Not just because of like, who I have in my bedroom or who I'm in a relationship with, but just because I want to let everyone else know out there that they're not alone.

Christina: 12:09

Absolutely. I completely agree with that.

Steve: 12:12

Yeah, and let's get into the thick of it then and tell us a little bit about what led you to sobriety.

Christina: 12:19

Oh boy. Are you sure you're ready for this, Steve? You're going to have to edit the crap out of me because it's hard to keep concise on this.

Steve: 12:27

I'll do my best. Yes.

Christina: 12:29

All right. So where to begin. So I think one of the things that I always try to point out when I share my alcoholism story is I never drank growing up. Like I didn't have a phase as teenager. I didn't have a phase in my early twenties. I was a 34 year old who, you know, maybe took a drink on my birthday every year. And so when I started sliding into alcoholism, it was, Incredibly difficult, not only for me to see, and I actually saw it before people around me did, but the people around me could not see it because they couldn't see past the idea of me of what they've known for so many years. So I think in some ways That kind of helped me realize even more that I had to take control of, of handling my issue with alcohol because no one else was going to come and tell me that I had a problem. It was, it was really honestly kind of interesting and the opposite of what I think a lot of people experience. So the reason I say I'm so grateful that I became an alcoholic in the first place is prior to ever picking up a drink, I went through a lot of things that for one person to go through in a lifetime. And it kind of goes back to when I was 28, my mom passed away unexpectedly. She had the same spinal condition that I have. So it also kind of carried it. a weight for me of fear of my own future because she had tried every surgery, everything she could possibly do. And it was her final surgery, which was a full spinal fusion that took her life. So that instilled a lot of fear in me about my own future as well as the loss of her. But I felt at the time like I was going through it as best as could be expected. I mean, I was handling things. Okay. I was sad, but who wouldn't be I've never been particularly prone to depression, so I, there wasn't, you know, a deep depression or anything like that. I think I convinced myself I was okay. And then just a couple of years later I had a biological son that passed away. He was born at 18 weeks and I did get to hold him and see him alive and all of those things, but I also had to watch him go. And then just one year after that, my father passed away. So in about a four year period, I lost. Three people incredibly close to me. And I honestly took the loss of my father, probably the hardest, partially because it was a compound effect, you know, three in such a close time and partially cause he was my best friend. And after losing my mom, of course, we leaned on each other even more, got even closer than ever before. And again, when I lost my son, I leaned on my dad. So then I was only 32 still when I lost my dad. So I. I can't, I don't even know how people handle it when they lose parents as a child or a younger age because I, I was a grown ass woman, but I still felt like, where are my parents? I, how do I navigate this whole world without them? And I still feel like that, you know, quite often, like someone gave me the keys to adulthood and I'm not supposed to have them. I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I need my parents. I need, I need guidance in this world, you know? So it's been A major having to learn how to really rely on myself in adulthood and took those training wheels right off way sooner than I was ready, you know, and I, I've also seen that so many people in the queer community don't have the best relationships with their parents. And I was very blessed that I did. I had wonderful parents. So like the loss was just, it felt cosmically unfair to me. Even so, you know, I was in therapy. I was getting help. I was going to grief support groups. I was following grief, you know, social media accounts, doing everything. I felt like I reasonably could. And I certainly wasn't, or didn't feel like I was avoiding healing, but I guess I was because it's just, it was kind of always in there. And In this same time period, I also went through two divorces. The second one being because I came out. So when I came out, that was a big thing for me. And it kind of stemmed from, we had been full time RVers. We had been go, go, go, go, go, go, go, excitement, fun adventure. And I, that's a life that I love. And at the time my ex and I got custody of his children and we had to stop traveling for a while. And that was when feelings started hitting me in the face. Cause I wasn't distracting myself anymore. So I was, I w I was extremely codependent. I mean, it was, it was gross. I was really codependent to the point where if my husband left for two hours from the house, I was in a puddle on the floor crying because all the emotions were coming at me. So that was when I really started to see like, There is stuff that is not getting addressed. And unfortunately at the time, and this was sure it was real and it was a part of it, but I kind of convinced myself that it was because I needed to come out was the only reason I was feeling those ways. So I came out and I had my first girlfriend and left, unfortunately had, you know, left my family. In the beginning, I was met with a lot of support from my stepchildren. And then unfortunately, as time passed, they did not want anything further to do with me, which was honestly one of the hugest losses of all, like even worse in so many ways, because the love that you have for your kids, you can't match that. So I took that loss extremely hard. And then also my first girlfriend, I fell hard and fast for because I, it was all those great first love, first gay love feelings. Yes. This is where I'm supposed to be. This is what I'm supposed to have, you know? And up until this point, I had a really rich relationship history, like friends with every X good terms, you know, healthy relationships, even despite a couple of divorces. However, My first girlfriend turned out to be a psychopathic narcissist that I never saw coming. And the things that that put me through in that relationship, I mean, I was like torn down to the studs. I don't even know who I was. I couldn't feel myself. I was not myself. And she was an alcoholic. So throughout the entire relationship, I actually didn't really drink still because I think it was sort of that anti, like, I don't want to do what you're doing and I don't want to encourage what you're doing. But after we broke up and if anyone has ever been through a relationship with a narcissist, you're very familiar with the push, pull, push, pull, and them doing everything in their power to keep you under their control. So after we broke up, that's when I started drinking because she would use the alcohol as a way for us to connect and a way for us to, you know, I guess have what we couldn't really have in a healthy way sober, so we would drink and we would sleep together and she would lie to me about being in other relationships while we were doing it. And it was a mess. And I think as I tried to pull myself away from that, the alcohol came with me because I had just found this coping mechanism that made it seem at the time. Like everything was great. And so I moved away. I moved back to Denver. I joined a lesbian group there. I made tons of lesbian friends, trans friends. I was going to karaoke every week, singing my ass off. Drunk, of course. I was going clubbing every weekend, dancing my ass off, drunk, of course. So I fell into the lifestyle really hard and fast. And I, I would say it was only about a year and a half to two years that I was drinking super heavily, but it went from, like I said, a drink once a year to, Every single night, not just when I was out with people at home, having to stop by the store and get whatever to bring home with me every single night. Couldn't go to sleep without being completely fucking shit faced. Like I, like I knew I had a problem. Nobody else could see it because a lot of that was in secret. And when you go out to karaoke and the bar, everyone's drunk. So nobody thinks anything of the fact that you are. And so it was one of those things that I just started to see the issue. I started to feel the issue. I started losing my eyelashes. I started, started having like a lot of crazy physical symptoms, you know, bleeding gums, things that I eat really healthy and I do everything I can to control this spinal condition that I have and all of my pain. So those kinds of physical symptoms are not normal for me and are super obvious. And I kind of scared myself, but it went way past that to, you know, passing out in places and not knowing where I was and throwing up on people in their cars, which I'm someone who never even threw up from drinking before that never throw up from hardly anything. Those things really started to scare me, but it was one day when I woke up. And hit my head on the ceiling because I was in a friend's tiny house and forgot where I was. That was my moment. It wasn't nearly as bad as all the other moments. But I woke up, hit my head, and then I realized nobody was there with me. My phone was dead. I didn't have a charger, any way to get ahold of anyone. And for whatever reason, that scared me more than anything else had. And I walked to my car, because luckily my friend's house was fairly close to the bar where we had karaoke. Walked to my car. It's morning. I had to sit in my car for three more hours because I was still drunk and I didn't feel like I could drive and I waited three more hours and then drove to the closest Starbucks and got a big coffee and drove myself home and that was the day and I found out later that day. ways that I had ruined a bunch of friendships the night before things that I had let slip out and it just all kept compounding. So I went to my first meeting that night and never looked back.

Steve: 22:16

Well, I'm glad that you haven't. And thank you so much for sharing all of that. I know that I was able to identify with a lot of those feelings that you went through and having to, you know, come to terms with who you are and the interesting ways that I would have my relationships where I would float from like one relationship to the next and then be like, in hindsight, I was like, those were not the best ones, but it's because people were taking care of me.

Christina: 22:43

Yeah. Yeah.

Steve: 22:45

And with all of that grief and with all of that loss You know, that's a lot. I very much was the same of like, you know, a lot of what most people would say like fucked up shit happened to me like as a kid, you know, like sexual abuse from within the family by an older cousin and like things like that that continued on as a trend. And as I share that with people, they're like, well, no wonder why you would drink but like in some ways I realized like even before all of that. I was almost born with an alcoholic or an addict mindset because I never wanted to to live in my feelings or to to face reality even as a kid before it was alcohol. It was, you know, video games or books or reading or like I was addicted to doing really well at school or addicted to doing really well at sports or like doing anything to get kind of the attention to the approval or like anything that make me feel like I was good enough because I didn't feel like I was good enough a lot of the times. And so. Did you, you know, having started your alcohol journey later in life, did you now, looking back, have any signs of being an alcoholic or an addict before you picked up the drinks to the, where it became a problem?

Christina: 23:47

Of course I did, Steve. Well, obviously, like I said, you know, when things slowed down for me, that's when things started hitting me in the face. So I would say my top coping mechanism, which it took me a while to see. was busyness distraction. That was absolutely my top one. And it's always also been food ever since I was a child. That was always my go to. I was bullied as a child. You know, I was, I was very fortunate to have a lovely home life as a child, which so many people do not have. One of the things I addressed in recovery was that that doesn't mean I had a good childhood just because I had a good home life. I had to really face the fact that the childhood bullying I faced in school and the exclusion all from just being a chubby kid with glasses, something that is just so ridiculous to me now. That, had this depressive effect on me as a kid, where I did have to avoid an escape. And I loved being at home with my parents because that's where I felt accepted and loved, and I did not feel like that. outside the home. So I've had to really do some work looking at that because I do have childhood wounds to heal. And I can see looking back that food and keeping busy were always my two coping mechanisms. And because I've done a lot of work in the area of food ever since my spinal diagnosis and trying to help with pain and all it's been about eight years now. I've been gluten free, dairy free, and eating as close to like a whole 30 paleo lifestyle as possible. The food addiction is in there, but it's very much under control. But because of that I notice what I have to notice what else I reach for. And you know, sometimes I'm still reaching for that distraction thing and I have to stop and pause like right now I'm in the middle of building my coaching business. It is very easy to get lost in that. Very easy to go right back to busy, busy, don't feel, don't think, just do and staying distracted. But now I'm able to recognize when that starts happening. And I actually feel burnout and I actually feel tiredness and feel my brain needs a break. And I'll, I'll take mental breaks, I'll re regulate my emotions by just sitting down and cross stitching for a couple hours or something that kind of brings me back to my center and then ask myself like, Is there something going on that I'm staying busy to avoid or am I really busy because I need to be right now? And usually lately it's the latter, which has been a huge relief to me. But you know, occasionally I do catch myself, you know, if I have a little anxiety over something or I'm avoiding facing something, I will catch myself leaning into that busyness in a little bit of an unhealthy way. But if I was drinking, I would never catch that. I would never catch that. So that's another reason to just be so grateful for sobriety. And I also realized looking back, thinking about childhood and realizing that, you know, I kind of thought I was happy, but wasn't taking that into account about outside the home. I was a major journaler as a kid. I journaled. Every day I had journals. I have a bin somewhere of like every journal up until age 15 or so. And then I stopped. And so I also kind of realized that that's probably why leaning into journaling when COVID struck and I was in total isolation, which was a huge learning time for me in my sobriety. I leaned back into journaling. And I have found that bringing that natural coping mechanism back something that I was doing as a kid that was actually a healthy coping mechanism that I didn't even give it credit for leaning back into that has been really helpful for me. So when I'm in those places that I'm not sure if I'm leaning back into an addiction transference type of thing, I whip out the journal and see what comes out.

Steve: 27:40

I love that journaling is definitely something that a lot of people in recovery. I know use and it's been a very effective method. I almost in some ways count like the beginning of these episodes when I do my little eight minutes. It's my audio diary for the week of what's going on, because no, I can't even read my own handwriting. If I'm really feeling passionate about when I write, like if I'm writing my feelings out, when I look back later, I'm like, I can't read this later. I think I can hear it later. So yeah, I have that. But I definitely love the idea of journaling and getting your feelings out. In addition to that, what would you say are three tips or tricks that you've learned in recovery on how to live a better sober life?

Christina: 28:19

Honestly, I would say most of that for me is around emotional sobriety and triggers. So if I have not sure how to condense it into three tips, but let's see. Cause I would say taking a holistic approach to recovery is extremely important. And by that I mean, holistic recovery addresses the whole person. And there are many, many alcoholics out there whose only focus is to not drink. And if that's our only focus, you're, you're just kind of white knuckling it and fighting against it until you give in, honestly, because the next time that, you know, something huge comes up that you're not ready to feel, and you don't have another coping mechanism, you're either going to transfer it to another addiction that's also unhealthy for you, or you're going to go right back to the one that you're trying not to do. So in holistic recovery, we look at, so I'm going to say, we'll say tip one and two kind of go together. Holistic recovery. and addressing emotional sobriety because when you don't address your entire life, you're not addressing the root causes. That's what holistic recovery is all about. And so basically the concept is when we first started leaning on alcohol as our coping mechanism, That most likely our life kind of sucked, right? Like we, we weren't happy, whether it was our external circumstances or our, our internal, for one reason or another, we weren't happy because that alcohol was providing us relief from something that alcohol was a solution or felt like one at the time to whatever problems we were having. So we have to look back at that because unless your life has drastically changed. When you first get sober and it's really, really, really fantastic and you have zero complaints, there's probably stuff going on we need to address. So I kind of take this approach. We got to look back. We have to look at where things started and the unaddressed stuff. Like for me, it was all that grief that I was carrying and the toxic relationship abuse that I was carrying. Those were things that even though they were in the past, if I did not address them in recovery. I was not going to be able to stay sober long term, got to work through those things. So, and then holistic also means taking into approach things that don't seem directly related to you not drinking, like having a meditation or a yoga practice, doing the journaling. Making sure you actually like your job, making sure you actually like your partner, your friends. You're actually happy with your life, looking around at every single area. So that's, that's one of the things that I really focus on and think that everyone really needs to do is look at the Every area of your life, break it down into, into categories, rate where you feel like you are, where you want to be, what's the difference between the two? How do you get there? Because if we're not moving forward, they're like, it's kind of like, I also look at it like this. There's no such thing as just complacency. That is healthy for us. You know, I, we're living, growing, changing beings like a plant. And if you just set a plant there and look at it. It doesn't stay neutral. It's going to die. So you have to be feeding it, watering it, stinging to it, whatever you got to do to keep that plant happy and healthy. Although don't ask me about that. I kill all the plants, but you know, I'm doing it. Okay.

Steve: 31:38

No, I love that. And I definitely agree in the whole holistic approach to recovery. I know that the number of times that I've talked with people where they It's just a matter of like they're like, well, I'm not drinking and everything's still miserable and it's like, well, what else are you doing? And even with, with my friends, like when I've done like with my coaching, like the wheel of life and things like that, like being able to put your thing, you know, points into categories and being like, Oh, okay. Like, there's room to grow here. And it's not necessarily the answer isn't just not pick up a drink, but it's also like work on myself a little bit. Or like take action because it's very easy a lot of times when I notice when you'll ask someone like what they're not happy with they'll list a lot of things that are external to them that are out of their control that are just happening around them but then like the tough question is like what are you tolerating or because like that's the things that like you know that you probably could change if you wanted to but you're just not interested in putting in the effort to make the change happen and that's what gets people uncomfortable is thinking about what they're tolerating.

Christina: 32:35

Well, exactly. And the thing is that when we take away that coping mechanism of just avoiding, we have to actually face this stuff. If you don't face that, you're really unhappy in your job, or you're really unhappy in your long term relationship, or you have fake friends around you. If you don't, if you don't face those things, you know, nothing's going to change. If you don't change things, things aren't going to change. It's just kind of the way it is. And so in sobriety, we have to learn to face the tough stuff that we've been avoiding. That's, that's really the only way to. Keep on the right track and create a long lasting recovery.

Steve: 33:10

Excellent. And what is one thing in your recovery or your life that you're looking forward to?

Christina: 33:17

Oh, that's a great question. Well right now, you know, I'm kind of living the house life. And like I mentioned earlier, I love RVing, traveling, seeing the national parks. So. So we're living house life right now and kind of doing the whole, like building up momentum, building up finances, getting to a place that we can go back out and enjoy that lifestyle again. So I'm really looking forward to that because I have a lifelong goal bucket list, I guess, item of seeing all the national parks and I'm about halfway there, so

Steve: 33:47

that's

Christina: 33:48

probably one of the things I'm most looking forward to.

Steve: 33:51

I look forward to hearing how you continue to hit all those check marks and hit all those parks.

Christina: 33:56

Yeah. Nature is so healing to me. And it's something that in sobriety, that's one of the ways I feel most connected to myself is when I'm in just this beautiful, beautiful place surrounded by nature, seeing a new type of terrain I've never seen before. It's magical. It changes something in me every time.

Steve: 34:14

That is awesome. I've seen like your views even around like your house in your neighborhood and like, yeah, you also have amazing views where you live too. So that's nice.

Christina: 34:21

Yeah, it doesn't suck being here.

Steve: 34:24

So if someone wanted to follow you on the socials to see all your bright sunny positivity or connect with you, how would they find you?

Christina: 34:32

Of course, thanks for asking Steve. So on Instagram, I'm at unraveling recovery, and I did just get a tick tock that I may or may not be too old for under the same name as well. And we also have an awesome retreat coming up. So if you're in recovery and you're looking for like that connection with other people in recovery you can find out a lot more about that on my channel right now as well. We have that coming up at the end of May.

Steve: 34:55

Excellent. Sounds good. Well, this should be coming out in the early May. So they'll have to get going on that.

Christina: 35:01

Perfect.

Steve: 35:02

All right. Well, thank you so much, Christina. It was a pleasure getting to know you better.

Christina: 35:06

You too, Steve. Thank you so much.

Steve: 35:08

All right. And back to you future self. Welcome back. I am so thrilled that you got to experience that interview. I hope you all got to follow her and get to see the amazing content that she's posting on social media constantly. Just like other friends of the podcast. Dallas. I have no idea how they do it, but they have so much awesome, inspiring creative content. Constantly. Their brains are just like beautiful minds of. Sober magic. So make sure that you are giving her a follow and with that. While you're listening to the episode before you head on out, make sure you please leave a review, especially if you're listening on apple podcasts, but Spotify as well, anywhere, a review as a freeway to say that this show helps you. And then it tells the podcast players like this is really awesome content that we need to show other people. So it makes it easier to find which means that the next time someone is sober, curious, or struggling to stay sober and is looking for. Queerer podcast. If you're reviewing this and makes it easier for them to find me. So you are helping a fellow out as well as helping me and the show. So please leave a review. And until next time everybody stay sober.