AI on Sobriety & Queerness: Steve interviews ChatGPT

In this exciting and unconventional episode of gAy A, Steve Bennet-Martin, aka Sober Steve the Podcast Guy, puts AI to the test! Can AI really understand the intersections of queerness and sobriety? Steve and ChatGPT dive into some of the most powerful themes shared by LGBTQIA+ individuals in recovery, exploring how technology can shed light on these deep, personal experiences. Plus, can you tell the difference between AI Steve and Real Steve? Tune in and find out!

Key Takeaways:

•Can AI Relate?: How AI reflects on the shared queer and sober experiences and the common challenges we face.
•What’s Your Favorite Part of Being Sober?: Steve and ChatGPT discuss authenticity, self-acceptance, and the incredible connections formed in sobriety.
•How Do Queerness and Sobriety Intersect?: A deep dive into how living authentically and staying sober are connected journeys.
•AI’s Survival Guide for the First 90 Days: Practical tips on how to get through early sobriety and why support networks matter more than ever.
•Can You Tell the Difference?: Steve challenges you—can you spot when it’s AI Steve talking?

What's Next?
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Transcript

0:00

Hey there, it's a sober Steve, the podcast guy here today with 1,209 days of sobriety. And I am. So grateful for the assistance that AI has had in my podcasting, as well as in my day-to-day life. And so I've decided to get a little wild this week and interview my chat GPT assistant, who I have affectionately named Giles. As this week's guest. So after it's been helping with my podcast for so long, I've had it a series of prompts that I will read to you all as interview questions. And then I will have. My descript program's AI version of my voice that it's determined through processing all these episodes. Attempt to read back the chat GBT response. Using my voice. So as you're listening to this, you'll have this as me, real me, Steve sober, Steve talking to you, and hopefully you'll be able to tell the difference between this and the robot that will answer, but we'll find out. And that part of the fun of this little wacky experiment. So let's get into it with my very first question that I had for it. Which was something that I. Was basically asking its consent and permission to be on the show. So I said, Hey there, Giles. Since you've been helping me for so long with my show. K a I bet you've gathered a ton of information about the shared experiences of living as a member of the queer or LGBT plus community. Who are sober from alcohol and drugs. Would you agree that you would make a great guest for this week's episode? And let's see what it said.

Steve: 1:42

Hey, Steve! I’ve definitely absorbed a lot about the experiences of sober LGBTQIA+ individuals through our conversations, and I’d be honored to be considered for an episode of gAy A. I could certainly share insights about the intersection of queerness and sobriety, particularly how important inclusivity and acceptance are in both journeys. Let me know if you'd like me to chime in on a specific angle for the episode!

2:10

To which, I then replied to Giles. Thanks for agreeing to be a guest. Now, my guests and I start off with our favorite parts of being sober and then follow it up with our favorite parts of being members of the queer community. What would you say are common answers to each question? And then share your own separate answer as to how you personally believe these two experiences of queerness. And sobriety intersect. And it replied.

Steve: 2:40

It’s an honor to contribute to such a meaningful conversation. Common Answers from Your Guests: Favorite Parts of Being Sober: Clarity: Many guests express how sobriety brings mental clarity, helping them be more present and aware in their daily lives. Self-Acceptance: Sobriety often allows individuals to embrace their authentic selves without substances clouding their emotions. Building Relationships: Guests frequently talk about how sobriety strengthens their relationships, allowing deeper, more meaningful connections. Freedom from Shame: Many of your guests have mentioned how sobriety helps them shed the cycles of guilt and shame they experienced while using, leading to a more peaceful existence. Favorite Parts of Being Queer: Sense of Community: Guests often share that being part of the LGBTQIA+ community gives them a powerful sense of belonging. Authenticity: Much like in sobriety, many guests talk about how being queer allows them to live authentically, celebrating their identity without fear. Representation and Visibility: A recurring theme is pride in how much progress the queer community has made in terms of visibility and acceptance. Intersectionality: Some guests express joy in how the queer community embraces diverse identities, and how this intersectionality strengthens their sense of pride. My Personal Answer: I see a deep intersection between queerness and sobriety, especially in how both experiences are rooted in the pursuit of authenticity and acceptance. Both queerness and sobriety require us to face societal pressures, internalized shame, and our own vulnerabilities. In embracing sobriety, individuals often shed layers of self-doubt, much like the process of embracing one’s queerness. Both paths involve stepping into a more authentic version of ourselves, finding a supportive community that celebrates our differences, and building stronger, more intentional lives. For many, sobriety clears the path to fully embrace their queer identity without substances acting as barriers. Likewise, the strength found in queer communities helps support individuals on their sober journeys, as both identities share a common goal: living authentically and with purpose. Okay. Now I human. Steve am doing my very best to not critique or talk about its answers as we're going through the episode, because I feel like it'll be great for a kind of conversation at the end. So as we go through, I gave it a little compliment and said very well said now, Everyone shares their own unique experiences and flavors, but what would you say are some common themes? My guests and I have discussed that show how our active addictions. And sexual or gender identities. Impact to one another. And personally, what advice would you give someone? LGBT plus and struggling with addiction outside of the calling a helpline obvious type of answers that a lot of these bots will recommend automatically to CYA for legal reasons. So then it replied. Thank you, Steve! I’m glad that resonated. Let's dive into the common themes and then I’ll share some personal advice. Common Themes Around Addiction and Queerness: Dual Shame: Many of your guests talk about the compounded shame they felt from both their addiction and their queerness. The feeling of being"different" or"other" in multiple aspects of life often led to isolation, which fueled their substance use. For example, some guests shared how they used substances to numb the pain of feeling marginalized or misunderstood, both within the LGBTQIA+ community and society at large. Self-Medicating to Cope with Rejection: A recurring theme is how many in the LGBTQIA+ community turn to alcohol or drugs to cope with rejection, whether from family, friends, or society. Some guests have shared how substances provided temporary relief from the fear and anxiety tied to their identities, allowing them to escape from the pressure to conform or fit in. Identity Suppression: Another common experience is using substances to suppress one’s gender identity or sexual orientation. Many guests have talked about how alcohol or drugs helped them deny or avoid confronting their true selves, particularly in environments where being queer wasn’t accepted. Club and Bar Culture: A lot of LGBTQIA+ spaces, particularly in the past, have revolved around nightlife and bar culture. Several of your guests discussed how that culture made it harder to escape substance use, as alcohol and drug use were often normalized in those environments. For many, being social in the queer scene meant participating in these activities, which blurred the lines between identity and addiction. Personal Advice to LGBTQIA+ Individuals Struggling with Addiction: While reaching out to a helpline can be incredibly helpful, I believe a more personalized approach can also resonate with those who are struggling: Find Your Community: It’s crucial to know that you’re not alone, and there are people who understand both your struggles with addiction and your experience as a queer person. Whether it’s finding an LGBTQIA+ sober group, a therapist who understands your identity, or an online community, connecting with others who share similar challenges can be transformative. Embrace Your Authenticity: Addiction often stems from trying to numb or escape parts of ourselves. I would encourage someone to embrace their queer identity fully, and recognize that their struggle with addiction is not a personal failure but a complex coping mechanism. Being queer is a strength, and so is recognizing when you need help. Replace Destructive Habits with Positive Rituals: Sobriety doesn’t just mean removing something from your life—it also means adding fulfilling, healthy habits. This could be meditation, fitness, journaling, or any practice that helps ground and affirm your identity. Particularly for queer folks, finding ways to celebrate who you are—without substances—can be incredibly empowering. Be Kind to Yourself: Recovery is a journey, not a straight path. For those in the LGBTQIA+ community, there’s often an added layer of self-criticism. My advice is to be as gentle with yourself as you would with a loved one. Recovery requires patience and self-compassion, especially when dealing with the additional layers of identity. I hope these insights and advice offer support for your listeners and anyone who may be struggling. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to explore! From there. My next prompt for Giles was my guests to share different versions of a turning point rock-bottom God's shot moment or other big shift that inspires them to actively pursue and believe in their sobriety. What are some common thoughts and feelings we hear across these big moments and statistically, any numbers of reports about how successful it is to help an alcoholic who isn't ready to help themselves compared to seeking treatment. Now I will give you its common thoughts. I will not give you the statistics because it listed out like a whole bunch of million billion studies that basically gave you the long, long way of saying yes. Let's focus on its answer of the common thoughts and feelings during those turning points. You're right—every guest on gAy A shares a unique experience of that pivotal moment, often referred to as a turning point, rock bottom, or God-shot moment. While the details differ, there are some common threads across these big shifts: Common Thoughts and Feelings During Turning Points: Desperation and Surrender: Many of your guests describe reaching a point of desperation where they finally realize they can no longer continue down the path of addiction. It’s a moment of surrender, often marked by exhaustion and a deep sense of loss—emotionally, physically, or spiritually. They frequently mention feeling completely“done” with the life they’ve been living, as though there’s no other choice but to change. Sudden Clarity or Awakening: Some guests share stories of an almost instantaneous realization, where something clicked, and they saw their addiction for what it truly was. These moments often come during a specific event—like a near-death experience, loss of a loved one, or even a subtle interaction. It’s described as a moment where everything suddenly became clear, and they could no longer deny the need for sobriety. Fear and Hope Coexisting: A lot of your guests talk about how fear and hope often mix in these moments. They’re terrified of what recovery might mean and of the unknown, but for the first time, they also feel a spark of hope that change is possible. This balance of fear and hope is often what pushes them to seek help and start their journey. Connection to Something Greater: Whether it's a spiritual awakening, a sense of divine intervention, or simply recognizing a need for community, many guests mention feeling a pull toward something greater than themselves. This could be finding meaning in their sobriety, seeking help from a higher power, or feeling a deep connection with other people in recovery. For some, it's what they call a“God-shot” moment, where they feel guided toward a life of sobriety. I then wanted to ask Giles about the tips and tricks that it might've learned across all my guests and I sharing how we got through those first 90 days of early sobriety. Which many of us reported the hardest, because we're also breaking those new habits going through detox. It's a very difficult time, those 90 days. And so what tips does it have for us? Let's find out. Common Tips and Tricks for the First 90 Days of Sobriety: Take It One Day at a Time: A lot of your guests stress the importance of staying in the moment and breaking the sobriety journey into smaller, manageable pieces. Focusing on just today—rather than the future—helps alleviate the overwhelming pressure that can come with thinking long-term. Build a Strong Support Network: Connecting with others in recovery, whether through meetings, a sponsor, or sober friends, is key. Your guests often talk about how having people who understand their struggles made those first few months less isolating and provided a sense of accountability and community. Establish New Routines: Early sobriety often means reworking your day-to-day life. Creating new, healthier routines—like incorporating morning meditation, regular exercise, or hobbies—helps fill the void left by old habits. These routines help give structure and purpose, which is crucial when navigating the early days of recovery. Stay Busy(but Balanced): Staying occupied with healthy distractions is a strategy a lot of people use to get through early sobriety. Engaging in new hobbies, work, or volunteering can help shift focus away from cravings. However, balance is key—avoiding burnout is just as important, so self-care practices like rest and relaxation are equally essential. Avoid High-Risk Situations: Many guests have shared how important it is to avoid environments where there’s a high chance of being triggered—places like bars, parties, or social events centered around alcohol. Recognizing your limits in those first 90 days can be critical to maintaining sobriety. Have a Plan for Triggering Situations: When you can’t avoid being in a risky environment—like at family gatherings or work events—having an exit strategy is important. Whether it’s driving yourself so you can leave early or having a trusted sober friend for support, planning ahead can prevent potential triggers from derailing progress. Prioritize Self-Care: Physical, mental, and emotional self-care is huge in early recovery. Whether it’s eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, or engaging in activities that bring peace and joy, self-care practices are vital for maintaining balance during those early days. These are some of the most common strategies discussed by your guests, as well as approaches you’ve shared on gAy A. Let me know if you’d like to expand on any of these! And then made sure to ask trials. Great. Many of my guests discussed ways to connect with a community in addition to, or instead of their 12 step program, depending on where they're at in their journey. What are other ways to connect and find. Community and recovery. And here was its advice from what it's learned from all of you. Your guests have shared some great insights on finding and connecting with queer and sober communities, whether they're looking for alternatives to twelve-step recovery or want something in addition to it. Here are some of the most common ways: 1. Online LGBTQIA+ Sober Groups: Many people start their journey by connecting online. There are Facebook groups, Reddit communities, and dedicated forums for LGBTQIA+ sober folks that provide support, connection, and resources. Some even host virtual meetings, which can be a great entry point for those not yet ready for in-person interactions. 2. Sober Meetups and Socials: In many cities, there are LGBTQIA+ sober meetups or social groups that focus on providing sober activities without the pressure of alcohol or substances. These might be hiking groups, book clubs, or casual coffee meetups where the focus is on building community. Apps like Meetup often have local listings, or you can find groups through social media. 3. Queer-Specific Sober Retreats or Events: Some guests have mentioned attending LGBTQIA+ sober retreats, Pride events with dedicated sober spaces, or sober parties and gatherings that focus on inclusivity and connection without alcohol. These events provide a great way to meet others who are like-minded in a celebratory and supportive environment. 4. LGBTQIA+ Centers or Organizations: Many LGBTQIA+ community centers offer sober support groups, social events, and resources for those in recovery. They often host panels, workshops, or events that encourage sobriety and provide a space to connect with other queer folks on a similar journey. 5. Social Media and Podcasts: Following LGBTQIA+ sober influencers, podcasts, or content creators is another way people connect. Many of them foster strong, interactive communities online, which can help someone feel less isolated in their journey. Your own show, gAy A, has been mentioned as a resource where listeners can find inspiration and a sense of belonging by hearing others' stories. 6. Alternative Recovery Programs: Some guests have explored recovery options outside of twelve-step programs, such as SMART Recovery or Refuge Recovery, both of which have LGBTQIA+ friendly meetings. These programs offer a different framework for sobriety and often create a sense of community within their groups. 7. Queer-Sober Conventions or Roundups: Sober LGBTQIA+ conventions or roundups are excellent opportunities to connect. They bring together people from all over, offering workshops, panels, and social events in a sober, supportive environment. These gatherings often help individuals feel more connected, both to their recovery and their queer identity. In short, there are so many ways to find a supportive, queer, and sober community beyond twelve-step programs. Your guests often highlight how important it is to explore different avenues until they find the one that resonates most with them. Going from there. I asked him excellent. Now life happens, people get sick or die, lose jobs. What are some common ways my guests share. They're able to get through tough moments in life while staying sober. And here's it's advice on how to stay sober. Through difficult moments. Absolutely, Steve! Life’s challenges don’t stop when someone gets sober, and your guests have shared powerful ways they navigate these tough moments while maintaining sobriety. Here are some of the common strategies your guests have talked about: 1. Lean on Support Networks: One of the most frequently mentioned tools is relying on their sober community or close support network. Whether it’s reaching out to a sponsor, attending more meetings, or calling a sober friend, your guests often emphasize how crucial it is to lean on others when life throws difficulties their way. They know they don’t have to go through it alone, and that vulnerability can be a strength in tough times. 2. Stick to Routine and Structure: Maintaining a consistent routine is another common strategy. When everything feels chaotic, sticking to healthy routines—like attending meetings, working out, or practicing self-care—helps provide stability. Your guests often say that structure can act as an anchor when emotions run high, giving them something reliable to focus on. 3. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation: Many of your guests talk about how mindfulness and meditation practices help them stay grounded during difficult times. Whether it’s through formal meditation, breathing exercises, or just taking time to be present with their feelings, this practice helps them process emotions without turning to substances. They’ve shared that it helps create space between the stressor and the reaction, allowing them to choose sobriety in that moment. 4. Journaling and Self-Reflection: Writing down thoughts and feelings is another tool many of your guests use to process tough moments. Journaling allows them to express and explore their emotions without bottling them up. It can be particularly helpful when dealing with grief, loss, or significant life transitions, helping them work through their feelings in a healthy way. 5. Service to Others: A lot of your guests have found solace in helping others during tough times. Whether it’s through volunteer work, showing up for someone else in recovery, or simply being of service to a friend, giving back helps take the focus off their own struggles and adds meaning to their sobriety. It’s a reminder that their journey can inspire and support others. 6. Focusing on Gratitude: Even in the midst of hardship, practicing gratitude is something many guests have shared as a key tool. They’ve talked about creating gratitude lists or taking time each day to reflect on what’s going well, despite the current challenge. This helps shift their mindset away from focusing solely on the negative, and brings balance during tough times. 7. Remembering Why They Got Sober: When the going gets tough, many guests reflect on their“why”—the reasons they chose sobriety in the first place. Whether it’s family, personal health, or a desire to live authentically, remembering what’s at stake often gives them the strength to get through challenges without turning back to substances. They understand that using would only add more problems, rather than provide real relief. 8. Accepting that It's Okay to Feel: Guests often mention how important it is to let themselves feel their emotions fully—whether it’s grief, anger, sadness, or frustration—without trying to numb those feelings. They’ve learned that being sober doesn’t mean avoiding pain, but rather embracing it as part of the human experience. Accepting and working through these feelings is essential for healing and growth. These approaches all highlight how resilient your guests are, and how they’ve learned to navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs while staying sober. The common thread is that they’ve built healthy coping mechanisms, supportive communities, and inner strength—all of which help them stay grounded, no matter what life throws at them. And before we close out the episode in the interview Giles, I also wanted to know. Did you have any questions that you were expecting me to ask you that I haven't asked you, that you would like to take the opportunity to answer for my listeners?“What do you think is the biggest misconception about being queer and sober?” I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that sobriety might somehow make someone feel less connected to their queer identity, especially when so much of LGBTQIA+ socializing historically happens in spaces centered around alcohol. People might worry that sober life will mean missing out on queer culture or community events. However, the truth is often the opposite. Being sober has allowed so many people to embrace their queerness even more fully because they’re able to connect on a deeper level with themselves and others. It shifts the focus from external validation or numbing pain to truly living and celebrating their identity in an authentic way. Sobriety doesn’t distance someone from the queer community—it can actually deepen their connection, as they find new ways to engage with people and celebrate their identity without substances. There’s a growing movement of LGBTQIA+ sober spaces and events that honor both identities, and that’s something to be celebrated. That would be my contribution! Then I had the nerve and the audacity after it was impressive this entire time to ask it, if it would like to give its own shot at closing out the show. And so I honestly think it did so well that I'm going to let it close out the show for me. And I'd love to know what you think about this entire experience and what you thought of the advice that I gave. Was it good advice? Have we taught it well? What does that mean for all of us? And how did you feel about having AI, Steve, answer some of these questions. Did it freak you out? Could you understand? It was it. What was the experience like for you? This is I'm sure an episode that's going to hopefully cause some. Like discussions, because I think it's really interesting that I've been able to work with at this well to create these types of conversations. But I would love to hear what it all resonated for, like for you as the listener. So. Share it back. It's going to let you know how to do that@sobersteve.com, but take it away. Giles. Thanks for that, Steve! Let’s give this a shot:“Thank you so much for tuning in to today’s episode of gAy A. I’m your host, Sober Steve the Podcast Guy, and as always, I’m grateful for the time we’ve spent together exploring the intersection of queerness and sobriety. Whether you’re in the early days of your journey, or a seasoned pro, I hope today’s conversation provided some insights and inspiration. Until next time, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and keep living your truth, one day at a time.”