Sober Gay Adventures ft. Johnny

Episode Highlights

🌍 Traveling Sober & Building Community:
Johnny shares how he founded Sober Gay Adventures, offering intimate, 10-day trips for queer sober travelers to explore the world with accountability and connection. His goal was to create meaningful travel experiences for those in recovery, providing fellowship in small groups across the globe.

🏳️‍🌈 Embracing Queer Joy:
Johnny talks about loving the vibrant, campy, and dramatic aspects of queer culture and how that community connection has deepened in his sobriety.

💔 Navigating Loss & Addiction:
Johnny opens up about how the sudden passing of his best friend led to years of heavy drinking and eventual morning drinking. His breaking point came after a health scare that led him to fully commit to recovery.

🛠️ Sobriety Tools:
Johnny highlights the importance of daily meetings, meditation, gratitude lists, and building authentic connections as essential tools in his recovery.

🌿 Sober Gay Adventures in 2025:
Johnny shares upcoming travel experiences including:

• London to Paris: Iconic city exploration with day trips to Stonehenge and Mont-Saint-Michel.
• Italy Tour: Rome, Florence, Venice with immersive food tours and Tuscany day trips.
• Crete, Greece Retreat: A yoga and meditation retreat with daily excursions, evening sharing circles, and themed celebrations.

Connect with Johnny

🔗 Website: sobergayadventures.com
📸 Instagram: @sobergayadventures
📘 Facebook: Sober Gay Adventures

Stay Connected with gAy A

📲 Follow us on Instagram: @gAyApodcast
💌 Want to share your story or ask a question? Send a DM on Instagram or visit sobersteve.com to guest or connect!

🎧 New episodes every Thursday!
Until next time, stay sober, friends! 🌈✨

Transcript

Steve: 0:00

Hey there, Super Sober Heroes, it's your host, Sober Steve, and welcome to Gay A. I am here today with 1, 316 days of continuous sobriety, and I'm here with Johnny. Welcome, Johnny.

Johnny: 0:14

Hello.

Steve: 0:16

Yes, and you are here with Sober Gay Adventures as your company, correct? It is. Excellent. Tell me a little bit about who you are, then, and what you do.

Johnny: 0:26

So I've done a lot of long term travel over the years. And so I got sober about a year and a half ago but yeah, so I've always been a big traveler and I always wanted to start this travel company and I couldn't when I was drinking and then I got sober and then I started looking into things and I didn't find, A big variety of what I was looking for, because one of the things I was nervous about when I got sober was traveling again, because obviously being in Europe, wine, like Paris wine is everywhere, Italy, and all that. So I was looking for A group of a small group of like 10 to 12 people just travel with for accountability, friendship and whatnot. And I didn't really find it. I found there's another place out there that does like bigger groups cruises and whatnot. But I was looking for something more intimate where you could actually get to know everyone and hear each other's stories and share and whatnot. And so I started this company. It's a 10, 10, 10 day trip for people to have fellowship and accountability all over the world.

Steve: 1:26

Excellent. I love that. And I definitely see the need for that connection in all the different types of ways. And with you being a member of the queer community, what would you say is your favorite part of being queer today?

Johnny: 1:38

I just I'm a very stereotypical gay man. I love all the camp and drama. I will quote Moby Dyrus and all that. I love the bond of just having, The stupidness of it sometimes certain people don't always understand what I'm talking about when I'm around other straight people but I just like the bond that you have everyone has a story and everyone has a connection because, who we are as a community.

Steve: 2:04

Yeah, I can definitely can see that cause we have our, gay experiences and our queer experiences, but we also have our sobriety to bond over. What would you say is your favorite part of being sober today?

Johnny: 2:14

I just went back to New York city. And so I was out of New York city for four years. And so I've lost a lot of connections with my friends, but I was also, when I was here, most of my friends were drinking friends. And so I don't really have a lot of sober friends here, and I've had a lot of support from the normies out there, but it's just been nice to people that have surrounded me when I shared at meetings and whatnot, and just coming up to me and saying, Hey, welcome, and, exchanging numbers and just the bond that I've made You know, like I have 20 numbers in a month that I've been back. So it's just great that they have that connection and people care, like genuinely care. So that's what I really love about it. They want you to succeed.

Steve: 2:53

definitely. And so tell me a little bit about your journey with how you got to where you were today with alcohol and addiction.

Johnny: 3:01

Yeah. So like a lot of, Gay kids growing up. I came from a religious family, the bullying and whatnot. I was a musical theater queen. I never thought that I was gonna be a big drinker.'cause my first experience was very much horrible. I went to an arts high school where that was statewide. And so a lot of the students were. In the dorms, but a couple of them had their own apartments and because I was like this good Christian boy My mom and dad trusted me a lot and so I went to a party at a friend's and I had two screwdrivers and got wasted and I Laid on the ground crying. I was like mom's gonna be so mad at me Like God's really mad at me and like it was just this horrible experience that I hated it And then flash forward to a year later, I went to school for musical theater in New York city. I moved two weeks out of high school. I love my family, but I couldn't get out of Minnesota fast enough. And that's when I started drinking. I lived in New York city at a time when People, Didn't ID as much. And at 18, we could get into bars and there's this local bar down the street from our dorms that we all go to, and I discovered Long Island iced teas that you could drink for like 10 bucks and you could have one and be done And then it just spiraled from there. I, there's another gay bar that's no longer open that I'll fill this in, and they have frozen Cosmos, and I almost failed ballet class because it was every Thursday, and then ballet was on Friday at 9, and I had to struggle getting up so yeah. So I started there and then at 21, I actually went to my first AA meeting. And so I knew I had a problem, but in my head I said I'm 21. This is what everyone does. so I stayed for about a month and then I went out again. I was a successful actor in the fact that I was working. I never did anything huge but I toured a lot and on tour, you have the full day to yourself, do the show at night, and then after the show, you go out and you drink, and for me, when everyone else was ready to go to bed after the show, I kept going and going, and so I was still able to perform for about 10 years. I kept going and I was able to drink at what I thought was a moderate level but in reality, looking back, it wasn't About eight years ago my best friend passed away out of nowhere. he had inflamed pancreas, so Sunday he went to the hospital, and then Tuesday I got a bunch of text messages, because I was in San Francisco when I met him, and I moved back to New York City, and Everyone's Are you okay? Are you okay? And since I was here for 9 11 in New York. I thought something like that had happened, because no one said that he had passed. And I looked on Facebook and my old boss wrote me a message and he said, Hey, there's been something happening with Patrick. Please call me. I don't want you to find out, another way. And I just thought maybe he Something like he got hurt or something like that. I had never in my head and I was at work at the time and I was a bartender at Broadway shows. And so this is after intermission. So we're like setting out or breaking down the bar and everything. And then I saw, I just looked at his profile picture or his profile and it says, I can't believe it happened. Rest in peace, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I like, it's the first time in my life that I ever like, I just got so weak in the knees, I couldn't stand and I just dropped to the floor. And so that's when it actually got to the point where it was out of control. I started drinking daily, nonstop, I eventually became a morning drinker and that went on for a good, it was eight years ago and, it went for a good six years in that pace. And it wasn't always morning drinking, but it definitely, like I'd pass out occasionally and then have a half of a cocktail by my bed and finish drinking in the morning, warm diet, coke and vodka is disgusting. And so I went into pride Institute. I moved during COVID, I moved back to Minnesota with my parents. And, that's when they started seeing it. I was able to keep it a secret a little bit, but they definitely could see it then, because I was doing it there too, and I isolated my bedroom, and so I went to Pride Institute in Minneapolis for an outpatient program, and I wasn't there yet. But I was refusing to go to meetings, because I had gone to meetings before, and I said that it doesn't work, blah, blah, blah, And at that point, I had gotten accepted into school in Prague in Czech Republic to go back to school to start, because I wanted to start a travel business. It wasn't this one, but it was something I wanted to do, and I just had no business experience. And then my visa got denied, and I had an apartment there that I had to have to get the visa, so I moved back home to Minnesota. I was paying for the apartment, and I just, Started drinking a lot. And so I went back to Prague to move out of the apartment because it still has stuff there after the year at least. And that's when I basically drank for three to four days straight, like just nonstop and I flew back home. We actually had a memorial for a cousin that had passed away in my parents backyard. And I wasn't like, I was coherent and I said his jet lag more than anything. And then that night at about two in the morning, I had what I can only describe as a minor seizure. I couldn't move and my, I tensed up and I was shaking a lot. And I just laid on the ground because I yelled and my parents came out and my sister, was living at home as well because she was going through some personal things in her marriage and so she brought me to the hospital when I returned my mom and dad were there and I just saw their faces they have been so supportive of me as a gay man as Everything I've ever done an actor, this company started everything they're just amazing parents And I looked at them and that feeling just came inside I can't do this. but it was also like, it wasn't just for them before it was for them. This time, it was like, yeah, it's for them, but it's also I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be hurting people anymore. I don't want to isolate anymore. since Patrick passed away, I had closed off everything. I was not letting people in. I wasn't allowing, Friendship. Anything. And I didn't want that anymore. and I knew it was because of my drinking. so I told my parents, I was like, if you want me to get a breathalyzer, I'll come home and take a breathalyzer every day. If you need that for, security, if you want to you. I go to a meeting every day, which I did either in person or online at the time, and so yeah, for some reason it actually clicked this time I wasn't as standoffish to it, because I did want to get better at that point, because before I didn't care I would never harm myself, although there times right after his death that I did. Have thoughts that were seriously close to it, but at that point, I decided I didn't want to, and I wanted to live again, I started going to this meeting that was for LGBTQ people every Saturday, and right away I just got this rush of people's support and love that I hadn't felt for a long time, even though I have always had people that have supported me, but I actually was willing to let them support me. And let them come into my life. There's still a little bit of hesitation, but for the most part, I let everyone in so yeah, I really started doing the work on it and not just the work as an alcoholic, but also the work of being happy again. Because I think that's also an important part, just getting sober. Isn't going to make everything better and make you happy, you have to actually work on the happiness. And the late, great Leslie Jordan has a quote, and I'm going to miss say it, but he said it takes a lot of work to be this happy. And so I started getting up early in the morning, this isn't for everyone, but I started getting up at 4am, I go to the gym, I did a meditation, I had a good breakfast, I read something inspiring, I had this whole like 3 hour morning routine, and I could really feel my life change. And it felt great. So it just was like, it was a moment in time where I finally clicked that this is for me. and it's been a year and a half, like I said now, and I just moved back to New York and things are not going as planned. And I will be completely honest with you, it's been a little bit of a white knuckling situation. But because I have the tools now. I know what to do. I'm going to meetings, two to three times a day. I usually go to an 8 a. m. meeting and so I was going to skip it, but I said, no, I'll go for the first half hour and leave early. And it was great. I love this meeting. It's a meditation meeting. So I went for the meditation, and then I left a half hour before I said hi to a guy who's been really kind to me in the meeting and said, I have to leave early today. He's No, you're here. That's great. At least you're here, and so yeah, so it's just even though it's, I, it doesn't always, it's everything's not going to be perfect when you're sober. And I think that's, Really what I'm learning right now and like it's like for the first year and a half everything was going pretty great But then I have a stumble and you know I have but I'm grateful to have the tools and the you know The community that is there for you. so yeah, so it's just been a it's been a journey and it's been a good one

Steve: 13:01

Yeah, it sounds like it. And I definitely understand how important having all those tools are because, with me being three and a half turning almost four years sober, like later this year, it's been a journey and I still have struggles and life still happens and kicks me in the ass. And so what are some tools you mentioned going to meeting? But in addition to meetings, what are some other tools that you still use on a regular basis that helped you back then and still help you now?

Johnny: 13:26

I think a big thing like I recently just talked to my sponsor a couple days ago and, he said, because a lot of the stuff that I'm dealing with has to do with work and not getting the hours I was promised and whatnot. And so I'm being very proactive on that. and he said, you're doing great as the external stuff. But I think you're not working on the internal stuff as much right now. And I really want to encourage you to get back into that, because I know you were doing that. So start a gratitude list every night, start remembering what you do have, and, take ten minutes of just closing your eyes by yourself, and, just do the things that you know make you happy, and get back into that. read literature, like not necessarily even AA literature, but I really like this. She's a Buddhist monk, Tema Shodron. And so I have this little book and it's just her words of wisdom. I read that every morning and it's just getting into a positive mindset. And it's not always easy, obviously. When you're financially struggling in New York city, it's not fun. Yeah. It's an expensive city, and it's winter here. So like in the summer, I can go and do all these great things that they have going on in parks and stuff but yeah, it's just really working on the internal side of myself right now with meditation and all that. and also just being in contact I decided I need to reach out to people. And so every day I like send a text just saying, Hey, are we doing whatnot? and on my gratitude list, if there's a person on it, if they're sober or not, I will say, Hey, you're on my gratitude list today. I just wanted to let you know, I'm grateful that you're part of my journey and thank you for, supporting me.

Steve: 14:58

that's awesome. Connection has been so huge for me. And now you get to connect with gay men during your travel adventures. But you also mentioned during your share that this isn't the first time that travels been a interest that you wanted to pursue professionally. So how did your relationship with traveling change through your addiction and into your recovery?

Johnny: 15:16

Yeah, so it's just different. When I was drinking before, it was all about drinking in the pubs and the bars and having wine and whatnot. So I didn't really do a lot of the touristy things. In this like scouting trip, I got to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I, like I said, I went to the Coliseum. I took a gondola ride. And there's so much more to do when you're not spending money on booze. You have the money to go and do these things instead of, doing all the drinking. And I have my, because I romanticize it so much. And but having a Diet Coke on, at a cafe on the streets of Paris. It's no different than having a glass of wine. You're still having the same feeling. You're just not drinking alcohol. You can still appreciate the surroundings and be part of the environment. But, you just, it's not as blurry. Yeah, I can definitely relate. It was a great experience, and yeah I can't wait to travel to do places over. And also just I, I made sure that I went to a meeting at every new city I stopped in. And cause every city has, an English speaking meeting at some point. So yeah, so that, that way I also got to meet some local

Steve: 16:26

sober people and, hang out

Johnny: 16:27

with

Steve: 16:28

them. Wonderful. And we are just kicking off 2025. So what places would you love to travel this year with Sober Gay Adventures?

Johnny: 16:36

With Sober Gay Adventures, I have three trips one's from London to Paris and then there'll be a little bit of some little day trips as well like to Stonehenge and Mount St. Michelle. And then there's The basic Italy tour for people who have never been to Italy, so it's Rome to Florence to Venice as well as there'll be some little day trips in Florence where, we can go see Tuscany and whatnot food tours. And then the last one is in Crete, Greece, which is my favorite place in the world right now. The largest island in Greece and every little city is different from another. the other two are more touristy. But that one's more of a yoga meditation retreat where we stay in a villa. So I've been in talks with this great sober yoga teacher. He's awesome. And, one day we'll be At the villa all day, at the pool, or, you can go to the beach, and then every other day we'll go to a different city for the day, come back we'll do the morning yoga, but then in the evening we do like a sharing circle, and a meditation, and then there'll be like a little like theme party, like a luau party, or a greek god party, it's just more intimate, than the other two.

Steve: 17:52

Awesome. All three sound like a blast, but I love the sober stuff and my husband loves the meditation stuff. So that's the one that I'll tell him about. Let's check it out together. Yeah. Because you were talking our language there. So I love that. If someone wanted to connect with you and find out more about it, how would they do that? Johnny?

Johnny: 18:09

You can go to sober gay adventures.com. There's also on Instagram and Facebook and Threads. I'm no longer on the Twitter, but it's at Sober Gay Adventures as well. And yeah.

Steve: 18:23

Alright. Excellent. Thank you so much for coming on. I will put all that information in the show notes so that my listeners can head on over there to connect with you. Thank you so much.

Johnny: 18:34

Yeah, thank you. Appreciate it.

Steve: 18:36

And thank you listeners for tuning in to another episode of Gay A. Make sure you're following so you get the new ones every Thursday. And until then, stay sober. Bye.